Some of you were surprised, some already knew and most just skimmed.

I want to weigh in on this one, as a Muslim, as a woman who does not cover, as a feminist and a lover of freedom.

The movement to ban face veils in France is wrong and misguided.

Am I denying that there are women who are forced to wear the veil?  No.

Am I denying that it can be and has been and is being used as an instrument of patriarchy and oppression?  No.

Still, this movement to ban is idiotic and represents the depths of ignorance to which “the mob” can sink when victimized by selfish political expediency.

Whether or not the veil is required is a contested issue within Islam.  I’m not interested in discussing that in the least, nor where I stand on that. I simply want to address a movement that I beleive is mired in racism, xenophobia, intolerance and ignorance.

President Nicolas Sarkozy and his supporters would like to ban the Islamic veil because they believe it’s an instrument of patriarchy and supports Islamic fundamentalism and, therefore, is at the root of terrorism.

Okay.  I can see the rationale behind categorizing the face veil as fundamentalist and patriarchal.

Except.

Except that I had a friend who converted to Islam and despite being a single white woman who was raised in America, with not one Muslim man in her family, chose to cover her face in mixed company.

Except that my mother chose to cover her face in medical school, even though not one man in her family required it of her.

Except that my sister in law, who holds a post graduate degree, is a working mother, is one of the most outspoken people I know and is a generally strong woman chose to veil her face despite constant discouragement from those elder to her (who are Muslim).

Except that a lot of Muslim women choose to cover their faces because they want to control the level of interaction that they have with the opposite gender.

Why they choose what they choose is not the point.  That they have chosen of their own free will to exercise their religion in this manner is the point.

Their donning of a face veil is not denying a single other person the right not to wear one.  The veil might offend the people of France or make them uncomfortable, but that is not a valid reason to pass legislation banning it.  There is no philosophical point of demarcation between Sarkozy forcing women remove the veil and the Taliban making them wear it.

Fundamentalism denies exception.  It operates from the philosophical standpoint that a specific set of ideals work wholly and appropriately no matter what the circumstances.  This approach is one to which I am firmly opposed, regardless of the application.

It is why I put aside the traditional aspects of my faith and wholly and actively support legislation concerning a woman’s right to choose, LGBT rights and other “non-traditional” values.

I will not live in a fantasy world where everyone and everything fits into the neat little boxes that those before me created.

I will not ignore entire sectors of the world population, their emotions, their needs and their humanity so that I can live with the perception that all is right in the world and the only people that matter are the people that agree with me.

That is a hateful and unproductive way to live, and it is the path to humankind’s complete and total destruction.

Nicholas Sarkozy is a fundamentalist.  He and his supporters will not address the exceptional.  They have found their straw (wo)man and they are lighting the fires.  They do not realize that for some women, having to show their faces to men who are not mahram is an oppression.

Being a favored son of western civilization does not prevent Sarkozy from oppressing women or from being a fundamentalist.  He and his conservative supporters are making it abundantly clear that anyone who does not fit into their neat little box does not belong.

These people do not love liberty, equality and fraternity.  They love their own specific ideas about them.  The difference is significant.  And scary.

1. Om Shanti Om (2007)

An excellent review here.

2. Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999)

This guy goes to study music at this old guy’s house.  The guy and the old guy’s daughter fall in love, only to find out that the daughter’s marriage has already been arranged.  Hilarity ensues.  OK, no, no hilarity.  But, it’s a good movie with an interesting perspective on arranged marriages.  It’s a great “traditional” movie.

3. Guru (2007)

A polyester manufacturer embodies every capitalists dream come true.  Plus he finds true love.  Um.  Come to think of it, it sounds more boring than it actually is.  And, anyway, I just love this song. (It’s by the same guy that wrote Jai Ho).

4.  Three Idiots (2009)

This will make everyone in the West feel a little better about our educational system.  Favorite line?  “At 5:15, I was born.  At 5:16, my father said, ‘My son is going to be an engineer.’ “  If you do watch the film, please feel free to forward through the number “Zoobi Doobi.” Please.  I beg of you.  My dignity could very well hang in the balance.

5.  Being Cyrus (2005)

I just like this actor because he reminds me of my husband.  Plus, hey, it’s in English, so no reading!!

******

I picked these movies because I think they would have the most crossover appeal for a gathering that was mostly people who are not very familiar with Indian/Pakistani culture.  And, yes, smartypants, I know they’re not the same thing.

Anything you’ve seen that you’d like to add?

Persons who contemplated writing either “Slumdog Millionaire” or “Monsoon Wedding” must forever live with the knowledge that they are, in fact, the most obvious persons on the planet.

Do me a favor.

Turn the volume up really, really loud on your laptop.

Take a deep breath and hit play on this video.

And dance.  Dance your heart out.  Let go. Feel the pain of the disco.

When it’s over?  Know that I’m right here holding your hand.

You’re going to be OK.

P.S. For the rest of you, if you’re offended by bikini clad women and bare chested Bollywood actors dancing around hypersexually, you may want to pass on this one.  Click view original post for the video, if you’re reading through FB.

Frankly, nothing could be further from the truth for a great deal of the immigrants that I know.  The truth is that in this nation there are many foreign born individuals who were neither tired nor hungry when they arrived on our shores.

The leaving of one’s homeland is a concept that is more than familiar to me.  I’ve often referred to my family as jet setter bedouins of the modern era.  In my head, of course.

Nearly sixty years ago, both of my grandfathers left their ancestral homes in India and crossed a man made border and became Pakistanis.  Twenty years after that, their children left Pakistan and magically became Americans.

I am a woman who is quite aware of the artificial aspects of the construct we call “nationality.”.

Still, nearly two weeks ago when we received a letter from INS instructing my husband to report to his oath ceremony I reacted with a considerable amount of glee.  “Daddy is going to be an American,” I cried to our daughter, “Isn’t that wonderful? Congratulations Daddy, isn’t this exciting?!”

My husband smiled an odd smile, not the kind of smile that I expected.  It was not the usual smile, the one that can brighten any room or get us free tickets to Disney while we’re standing at the gates with our wallet out (yes, that happened, twice).

It was… a sad smile.

The kind of smile that you force onto your face when you know that you are leaving something precious and meaningful behind.  The kind of smile that you must put on your face, so that others are unaware of the pain that lives behind it.

You see, like so many immigrants in this country, my husband has nothing to run from.

If he lived in India, his life would be beautiful and amazing.  He would fit in all the time.  He wouldn’t have to bend his mind around the most simple cultural nuances that we take for granted here.  He would never have to mow a lawn, do the dishes, or clean the pool.  Because, back home, they have people for that.

In all ways, his life would most likely have been easier in India.

These things didn’t occur to me until I saw that sad smile on his face.

That smile told me that being the native born American child of immigrants is not the same thing as being a naturalized American.

We, the children, are the beneficiaries.  We do not feel the pain as acutely of turning over the old passport for the new one.  We do not feel the sensations in our hearts that make us feel that we are somehow betraying who we are and those we have left behind.

I have no words for my husband on this day that will quiet those thoughts.  They may very well be true, I don’t know.

I do know this, though.

I can recognize that he did not decide to become American because India is a bad place or that the people were bad there.

I can recognize that opening one door means closing another, and that it is alright and completely understandable to feel ambivalent and even a little sad about that.

I can recognize that he, like my parents, did this for me and for his children.

I can recognize that as our children get older and he tells them that he became an American for them, they will grow up, as I did, with a deep feeling of importance and a sense of destiny because of his actions today.

I can recognize the incredible strength it takes to forgo one set of emotional attachments for another.

I can recognize the wisdom that we live in a world where international alliances are precarious at best, and the borders and hearts of every nation become less welcoming with every year that passes.  At the very least, having matching passports would offer us the perceived comfort of knowing that we will always be together.

I can recognize that like my parents, more than the word, “Congratulations” from me on this slightly bittersweet day, he needs to hear the words “Thank you.”

Thank you, Tariq, for becoming an American today for our family.

May this day open the doors before you to all sorts of joys, prosperity and goodness that will quiet the sad feeling that there may be some that are slowly closing behind you.

I saw this clip from “Britain’s Got Talent” several months ago, maybe even last year.  In retrospect, it captures one of the points I was trying to get across in this post.

Although you may be tempted to close this video after about a minute, make sure you keep watching. I think you’ll be surprised. Whether it’s pleasantly, I can’t guarantee.

*If you’re reading this through a Facebook feed, click through to the original post to see the video.