McDonald's in Saudi Arabia

A private bus line operating in Brooklyn in an orthodox Jewish community is upsetting people because asks its “precious Jewish daughters” to move aside when “a man approaches.”  Specifically, women are asked to sit in the back while men sit in the front.  We discussed this on Hey! That’s My Hummus in detail on the first segment of our show this past Tuesday, and I think both Mike and I had mixed feelings on the subject.

American Muslims are a community that, much like Jewish Americans, represent a broad range of interpretations when it comes to gender and relationships.  I know of Muslim men who have been friends for several decades and have never seen the faces of their friend’s wives, mothers or sisters.  At the same time, I know of Muslims  who dispense with traditionally gender segregated congregational prayers.

Last year, I visited Saudi Arabia, a gender segregated society.  Whether a water park or a McDonald’s, the spaces of men and women are conscientiously defined by law there.  There are important details, though, that you’d only know about it you went there.  Or because I told you.  Which I will.

The separation in restaurants, for example, is not between “men” and “women.”  It’s between “men unaccompanied by women” and “groups including men and women.”  The term for women’s space in these public areas is usually “Family Section” and men are permitted to go there.  Unaccompanied men may not enter the Family Section.  Of course, women can not enter the “Men’s section” under any circumstances.

I have to share an interesting story.  While in Saudi, we went to Mecca for Umrah, a mini-pilgrimage.  There were thousands of people.  The government has buses set up that run between the hotels and the Kabah.  At the end of the day there were thousands of people trying to get on these buses which by the way, are not gender segregated.  My mother in law, myself and my children got separated from the rest of our family, and decided we’d just take the bus back on our own and catch up with everyone later.

We scrambled onto a bus and to make a long story short, my daughter and mother in law sat in the back, I handed my baby to a strange woman in the front row and then stood in front her holding a hand rail.  There was a man behind me.  This man was a total pervert.  Perverts can apparently go to Mecca, too.  Seriously.  I mean, it’s not like there’s some kind of pervert detecting security device there.

Anyway, the bus was packed and every time it jostled, this guy would “accidentally” brush up against me in a very inappropriate way.  At first, I thought it was an accident.  The second time, I looked him right in the eye and said, “Back UP.”  He grinned at me and shrugged his shoulders.  (Can you call someone a bastard when you’re telling an Umrah story?  Just a question.)  The third time, a woman who was sitting next to where he was standing dramatically placed her purse in between me and the man.

Suffice to say, I understand the merits of gender segregation on public transit.  I would also like to point out the extremely interesting point that despite having spent my entire life in the United States, a society which, aside from restrooms, practices virtually no gender segregation, that the first time something like this happened to me was in Saudi Arabia.

I’m not saying that means something.  I’m just saying it’s kind of fascinating.

Despite my public transit horror story, I’m uncomfortable by this concept of women’s limited access to public space anywhere in the United States. First and foremost, I feel that though this idea of segregation is well intentioned in this context, it absolutely limits women in every sense.  It limits them physically, mentally, financially and legally.

I respect that Orthodox Muslims or Jews are sensitive to mingled space in a spiritual context, but how much should we tolerate this orthodoxy in our public space?

And then.

Mayor Bloomberg mentioned that, “Private people: you can have a private bus. Go rent a bus, and do what you want on it.”

Okay.  Okay.  Really?

I can rent a private bus and do whatever I want on it?

WHATEVER I WANT?

Can a guy buy a bus, start a commune with thirty wives and start marrying off twelve year olds to forty year old men?  Let’s assume for the sake of argument that it’s a very big bus.

Can I buy a bus, start a sweat shop that employs six year olds to mass produce rope necklaces that all the cool the MLB players are wearing now for ten cents an hour and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?  I mean, what if my religion is capitalism and being as cost effective as possible is a practice of my faith?

And are these examples way out of line?

Are they not on the same level of imposing rules on women and men that may not have the intention of creating inequality, but that certainly have been proven to create the byproduct of inequality?

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