“”You are not the child of the people you call mother and father, but their fellow adventurer on a bright journey to understand the things that are.” – Richard Bach
My paternal grandfather passed away almost twenty years before I was born. Before my mother’s father passed away, I think I might have visited him three or four times. Most summers in Pakistan were spent in Lahore with my dad’s family. All I really remember about my “Nana Jaan” is his imposing height and build, his serious and intelligent demeanor and his sharp sense of humor.
When I was around 7, I sat with him in a courtyard slicing orange peels for my grandmother so that she could make marmalade. I remember him carefully directing me as I cut the peels into string like pieces. It was the first time I was allowed to use a knife by myself. Even though I can’t stand the taste of marmalade to this day, sometimes I’ll walk through the grocery store and simply pass my hand over a jar. As my fingers pass over a random jar, I’ll feel a hint of those moments that passed between us over 25 years ago.
It’s amazing how love can unfold in the smallest and most innocuous of moments. It’s even more amazing how long that love can last.
I’m glad that my children have the opportunity to spend time with their grandparents every week.
It’s good for them.
Almost as good as it is for my parents. And me.
I feel the same way. I never had a close relationship with my grandparents because of distance. When they passed away, it barely had any effect on me.
I LOVE that Bridget gets to spend such quality time with my parents and will have great memories of them as she grows up.
@donna, It truly is a gift.
Aww..I miss my nana and nani as well. I remember so many summers spend peeling oranges and eating mangoes while being told wonderful stories from when they were young. Sigh!!!
@Sahar, Ah, yes, the stories. I think stories from the past are a real kind of magic that children can experience.
I miss my grandfather, so much. I have so many memories of him. The good memories make it a little easier, but don’t completely erase the pain. Grandparents are a wonderful gift.
@Elizabeth Kaylene, Understood and agreed.
It’s awesome how sensory memories are some of the strongest. I’ll always remember picking cherries with my grandfather and snapping green beans on the back porch.
@Nancy [Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas], Exactly.
It’s amazing to watch parents become grandparents. It’s like they get a chance to just love on little people, soak it up and just enjoy it, without all of the worry and fear and responsibility that may have crippled them as parents.
@Miss Britt, Exactly. It’s a special kind of love, and the people who can experience it are so lucky.
Oh my God. Faiqa.
Jared’s grandpa just died.
@Miss Britt, Whoa.
I would see my grandfathers maybe one a year, as a kid. I love them, but I’m not close to them at all now.
Even though my dad wasn’t ready to be one, he is a terrific grandfather. We only see them 3 or 4 times a year, but that time is amazing.
My step dad lives with us now, and though it’s very hard on me (for a host of emotional reasons) he is a good man and my kids adore him. They love having their Paw Paw around.
@Annabelle, My relationship with my dad is also a little strange, but he is an amazing grandfather.
My Grandpa was my favorite person on earth growing up. He was my buddy. We went fishing and camping and bike riding and did everything together. He let me stand behind him in his chair and brush his hair for hours, and then he would tell people I brushed all his hair out. He was always there for me, and I still miss him every day.
@Lisa, That’s such a beautiful memory.
LOVE that picture!
I’m so grateful my parents are so involved with my daughter, although at times, I wonder where these ever patient, spoiling people came from!
@Sybil Law, Ha, exactly! My parents are waaay cooler to my kids than they were with me.
The image of the jar of marmalade is beautiful. Truly touching. All of my grandparents but my maternal grandmother had died by the time I came into the world. Whenever I think about poisonous water moccassins (which is more often than you might think), I think of my grandmother. It’s a long story but it’s my jar of marmalade.
@Vikki, I’d love to hear that story one day.
My inlaws have the opportunity to see their (only) grandchildren regularly, but rarely make the effort. It not only saddens my wife and children, but me as well.
@SciFi Dad, That’s so unfortunate. I think they’re (the grandparents) losing out more than anyone else.
I am so grateful Will had the years he did with my dad, and that my dad had the chance to be a part of his life. If his memories are anything like those I have of my grandfather, I know they will last his whole life. And, of course, we’re blessed that he still has both grandmothers in his life. Beautifully written, Faiqa, and the picture is amazing. It will be one you’ll cherish forever.
@Lisa D, Thanks, my friend, and I’m glad you enjoyed it. (Also, hey! You commented!! COOL!
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Glad I got to know mine until I was finished with college. I know some folks whose died while they were still children.
I was very close with my grandparents. I made a point of blogging about them because it keep them alive and helps me tell stories to my children.
I am very lucky to still have one of my grandfathers. I told him that I expect him to see me turn 50 and he said ok.
Eight years to go.. and then I’ll ask for more time. I am greedy that way.
I am blessed that my Mama will be moving here at the end of the month, both for a job and to be closer to the grandbabies (and maybe me!!) I am really excited and hope it will continue the healing between us. I’m glad you’re kidlets get to see your family regularly! :0)
Funny I was talking about this with my husband today saying that I feel bad that my mother and his parents will be mainly online grandparents to our children because they are in a different country. My maternal grandparents passed away when I was 7 mths old and 7 years old… my paternal grandmother passed away a few years ago, I miss her like crazy
I’m fortunate that my parents, inlaws and grandparents babysit my children every day. Nothing makes me happier knowing that they are being taken care of by family members that love them and teach them, every single day, while I’m stuck at work. I have a strong bond with my grandmother, and my youngest son is attached to his great-grandparents, and to my mom and dad. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness.
beautifully written.
i never knew my grandfathers. it’s only recently that i’ve realized some of what i missed.
It is amazing the little things that become lodged in our bank of memories! I also feel fortunate our girls have a chance to spend time with their grandparents every week. It is such a wonderful experience for both of them!