Send Me Christmas Cards
I have no problem with getting a Christmas card from you.
I just feel like that needs to be said.
Before I say other things that need to be said.
I’ve been blogging for almost three years. Every single year, I have witnessed “the great Christmas card debate.”
Whether on Twitter or Facebook or some blog… one of us weirdos who doesn’t celebrate Christmas decides we’re going to say, “Dude. STOP wishing me a Merry Christmas, I’m a Muslim-Jew-Buddhist-Hindu-Sikh-Kahless worshipper. I don’t.celebrate.Christmas.”
Did someone say, “Bah humbug?”
And then everyone else says, “To hell with you, we’re just trying to be nice, why don’t you stop being so uptight… see what happens when people don’t celebrate Christmas?!”
Here’s how I see it.
Yes, I don’t celebrate Christmas.
But, really?
We’re going to be offended by someone telling us to be HAPPY on December 25th?
I mean, does being a Muslim-Jew-Buddhist-Hindu-Sikh-Kahless-worshipper now mean we’re not allowed to be happy on December 25th?!
Do I lose my special “Muslim discount at the gas pump” card if I actually am MERRY on CHRISTMAS?!!
This just in… WikiLeaks reveal Muslims gets 30% off on any petroleum based product when they show their “I’m a Muslim” card. President Obama found in possession of fake I.D. Saudis cry foul.
And if I’m merry on that day, is it all YOUR fault for sending me that stupid card and telling me to be merry on Christmas? How dare you tell me to be happy on Christmas?
I am so OFFENDED.
Sigh.
Maybe we Muslim-Jews-Buddhists-Hindus-Sikhs-Kahless-worshippers get offended because we remember what it was like before.
Before the “coexist” stickers.
Before teachers were kind enough to actually ask.
Before people started paying attention.
It was all, “Oh nooooo, you don’t celebrate Christmas? That is so, so sad.”
This was said as though, beyond Christmas, there was nothing. As if the vacuum of Christmas in our lives could not possibly be filled with anything comparable.
No Eid, Yom Kippur… whatever the rest of those people celebrate…..
It was as if without Christmas or Easter we were empty. But.
We were something.
We had something.
People just didn’t know enough to care about what it was.
That’s where that comes from, you know, that whole, “Don’t send me a Christmas card” thing. It comes from that time when we simply weren’t acknowledged. From that time when people assumed that if what they were was not present in us, then that meant there was nothing in us, at all.
But, this is not then. This is now. And now is different.
I don’t think that’s what a card saying “Merry Christmas” in my mailbox means anymore.
I have Christian, Hindu and Jewish friends that call, Twitter, Facebook or e-mail me on days that are meaningful to me and wish me happiness. I do the same for them, as well.
We are all still Muslim-Jew-Christian-Buddhist-Hindu-Sikhs-Kahless worshippers of the highest integrity and nobody seems to get offended by these mutual wishes for happiness.
Because, sigh, all we are doing is asking each other to be happy, and I just do not see the big deal here.
I don’t think you have to stop being you in order for me to be me, if that makes sense.
So, yes. You can certainly wish for me to be merry on Christmas.
I hope I’m merry on Christmas.
And that goes for all my Jew-Buddhist-Hindu-Sikh-Kahless worshipping friends, too.
70 Responses to Send Me Christmas Cards
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Meta
I totally celebrate Kot’baval Festival. And I expect gagh and bloodwine as gifts. Qapla’!
Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam!!
@Dave2, GhIj qet jaghmeyjaj!
Qa tlho’! batlh bIHeghjaj!
@Dave2, Okay, guys, settle down and stop dorking up my comments.
@Faiqa, PAH! Lowly human. She has no respect for Klingon honor!
@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, Man, if I get a bunch of Trekkie nerds commenting on my blog for the next few months… well. I guess that would be cool.
Well, you won’t be getting a Christmas card from me because I don’t celebrate the holiday… but you WILL get a great big THANK YOU for this post.
Perhaps it’s because I was raised in a household which celebrated Christmas, but I’ve never felt the need to dump all over somebody for wishing me well on ANY day. When somebody says “Merry Christmas” to me, I always smile and say “Thank you! I hope you enjoy your holiday!” because anything less would be pretty inconsiderate. Now-a-days, I’ll take all the well-wishes I can get!
@Dave2, That’s my approach, as well.
I sure am glad you don’t get pissed/offended because I sent you one last year
. I miss you xoxo
@Tami, I love your Christmas cards!! I miss you, too. And what is THAT about? We live, like, five minutes away from each other, are people who live that close even ALLOWED to miss each other? Call me.
I’m a Jew. Christmas Cards don’t bother me either. Although I send out a generic Happy Holidays card, I don’t think everyone thinks to do this. I don’t get offended.
I do get offended when people try to convert me, but that is a whole other issue.
@jodifur, Yeah, the conversion issue doesn’t bother me. I usually figure, they have something they think is important to share, and they like me, so they want me to share it with them.
I DO have to tell you, though, that once I was sitting in my OB’s office and this lady and I were having a really nice conversation for all of about two minutes when all of a sudden she busts out with, “Do you know Jesus?”
I lost my bearings for about a second and replied, “No, not personally, we’ve never met, but… I hear really good things.”
I’ve always wondered what she meant by that… who does not know Jesus? I geuss she meant “know him as my Lord and Savior?” But, really, lady, in a waiting room? That was weird. Even a car salesman gets to know you a little first.
Happy Christmahanakwanzika to you!
But, for real. I don’t think it’s sad you don’t celebrate Christmas. Why the hell would anyone be sad you don’t celebrate something?
OH, GOD! I’M SO SAD YOU SUBSCRIBE TO ANOTHER CULTURE OR IDEOLOGY!
People are so dumb sometimes.
OH! I forgot. And there’s festivus for the rest of us.
I love this. Because who doesn’t want real mail?
@Alex@LateEnough, Exactly!!
Bookmarked. Saving to read every year along with David Sedaris’s Holidays on Ice.
@Amelia Sprout, Wow! That’s pretty good company, I’m honored!
Yeah, but would you be offended if I showed up at your front door singing Christmas carols? Not because I showed up or because I was singing Christmas carols, but because I prefer to do it in the buff?
Let me know. I making a list and checking it twice. Just the naughty side.
@B.E. Earl, Shudder. I’m not a fan of jingle bell rock. Clothed or otherwise.
@Faiqa, What – no “Deck the Balls”?!
@Sybil Law, This is funny. Yet painful…
I want my card to you to be just like the one Elaine gave George. So I’ll have to wait til I can do it in person. : ) XOXO
@Kim, That was a thousand years ago… now, I have to google that…
Where’s my goddamn Happy Eid card, that’s what I want to know.
@Avitable, Hahahaha…. it’s in the mail. Sitting next to the birthday card you sent me last year.
Once more, so well said. It used to not bother me but now I spend days around folks who make me feel like I have stepped back in time to the, “You don’t celebrate Christmas? Why would you do that?”
@Kailyn, I mean, really?? “Why would you do that?” It’s just mind boggling. You should tell them you hate peace on earth. And presents. And joy.
Thanks for this.
You are one of my favorite bloggers. You inform and you remind us all that we are all the same in our uniqueness.
Happy Happy Joy Joy to you and yours.
@Annabelle, Thank you for making my day.
I grew up a Christian, and although I’m not spiritual, I still celebrate Christmas as a culturally important holiday in my family. But what drives me crazy is how prevailing Christmas is everywhere. I think I’d be really annoyed by it if I didn’t celebrate the holiday. Its one thing to get Christmas cards from friends, that can be nice, but you can’t turn on a tv or go into a store without Christmas slapping you repeatedly in the face. Even the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is all about Christmas, with people singing Christmas carols and Santa coming, etc. I just feel like the whole holiday needs to be toned down!
@americanepali, Yes, it is really crazy when they decorations start up BEFORE Thanksgiving. And I’m not bothered by it because I’m not part of it… but I wonder, are all these folks really excited about the fact that Jesus was born or is it about something else for them? I just wonder. I don’t necessarily judge.
@americanepali,
I don’t know. Maybe in Middle Eastern countries they’re inundated with EID celebration reminders equal to Christmas stuff in the western world?
For goodness sake, they are CELEBRATIONS! Just let’s enjoy or ignore.
I totally agree, but I have to admit to being curious, though, about why it’s so common for people (not necessarily Christians) to say “Merry Christmas” indiscriminately while other faiths with festivals or celebrations don’t.
For example, last week (or whenever… it was a LONG time ago, ahem) when you told us about Eid, you didn’t actually wish us a “Happy Eid” (or whatever the proper greeting is; I honestly don’t know because I’ve never been told). However, come the 24th/25th, you’ll see a bunch of people wishing their readers a “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas” on their
blogs. I just wonder why that is.
That being said, if you email me your address, you’ll get a card as well as a photo of my kids pretending to be sweet and innocent.
@SciFi Dad, I totally said “Eid Mubarak everyone” at the end of the post. You’ve been skimming. I’m devastated.
@Faiqa, Crap. You’re right. I totally forgot that. However, I still maintain that you’re the exception, not the rule.
@SciFi Dad, Yes, I suppose I am the exception.
But, did you know that there are Christians in Pakistan? And that people say Eid Mubarak to them all the time? In fact, I would imagine that most Christians living in the Middle East get Eid Mubarak said to them, a lot.
I think this isn’t something that’s specific to faith/race/whatever, but simply a function of who has held the power to construct the existing culture the longest.
@Faiqa, I knew there were Christians in Pakistan, but not that they heard Eid Mubarak all the time.
I think you may be right about the fact that the people in power construct the culture.
Our cards say Happy Everything on them. No chance to offend anyone that way right? I’m reading this post and I’m seeing a couple others mentions of the subject and I’m wondering how long its been going on? Maybe its just a new thing? Growing up in NY, I guess I was exposed to so many different religions and stuff that no one I knew ever thought twice or felt offended by what someone else celebrated. In school, I remember having a Christmas and Chanukah party in December. Pretty sure we did other stuff too, but that was a LONG time ago and I only remember those 2.
As a general rule, since I was a kid, I’ve only said Happy Holidays. Unless I was speaking to someone I knew the proper thing to say. In general though, Happy Holidays will encompass everyone at this time of year. I guess I don’t know what it was like “before” as you mentioned because I never saw it. Not until the last 2 years have I noticed anything about people getting offended about gestures of good intention. It’s kind of sad.
@Hockeymandad, Well… um, how *would* you see as a member of majority if it weren’t pointed out to you? You probably celebrated those other holidays because someone said, “you know what? My stuff is important, too.” In order for that to happen, there had to be a time when their “stuff” was ignored.
That was my point. You mentioned that you only remember Hanukkah… interestingly, Hanukkah isn’t even that big of a deal for Jews, but a lot of people are arguing that it’s become a big deal because it happens to be right around Christmas. This is another issue of being contextualized within the experience of the majority that doesn’t sit right with some.
I didn’t live in New York, so your experience is far more diverse than mine. Growing up in Florida and I imagine it was that way in most of the country (because NY is special, that’s why it’s NY), those of us who were in the educational system went largely unacknowledged OR we were made into these weird representative symbols of our faiths. Either way, it infused our personal experience of December with a sense of abnormality. I think people who get offended by Christmas cards are reacting to that … of not being heard for so long or of being understood only within the context of Christmas.
For example, I have been asked, “Do you have anything like Christmas?”
I usually say yes. But the truth is, no, I don’t have anything like Christmas. What I have is completely different from Christmas and other than the fact that it’s special, bears no symbolic or spiritual similarity to it. To boot, it does not occur in December. So… you know … um, what holiday? I don’t understand how saying “Happy Holidays” to someone who is not, in fact, celebrating a holiday in December is somehow *better* than saying “Merry Christmas.”
It seems to be that all that accomplishes is telling a Christian that they aren’t allowed to be Christian when they send me a greeting. I don’t think that’s okay… I mean, I appreciate the sentiment of tolerance, etc… but, being tolerant shouldn’t mean comprising something about yourself that is not meant to subjugate another person’s beliefs in the first place.
Simply stated, it’s okay with me if Christian you (metaphoric use) is saying Merry Christmas to Muslim me. As long as you’re not disparaging me for not joining in or being the same, then we’re good.
I don’t know if any of that makes sense.
And I don’t know why that was so long.
Especially because, for the most part, we seem to agree with each other to begin with.
@Faiqa, Yes, I do agree with you. I promise I do! I actually only say what I say when someone says something to me first. I actually feel uncomfortable saying anything in response as I prefer “have a nice day” to anything religious but I don’t want to be a jerk so I go for the blanket statement. But for what it’s worth, that includes new years.
I only remember Chanukah from grade school because one of my Jewish classmates grandmother used to come in and make latke’s from scratch and they were awesome.
I say Merry Christmas because Christmas is what I celebrate. I’ll say Happy Hannukah or Eid Mubarak to a friend if I know that that’s what they celebrate but otherwise, I’ll stick with Merry Christmas.
It’s not like I’m chasing people down saying “How dare you wish me happy holidays?!?!” but I figure, if Christmas is what *I* celebrate and what *I* believe in, then I should be able to say Merry Christmas.
I don’t get offended if someone wishes me Happy Holidays, Happy Hannukah or any other religion so I don’t understand how someone could get offended by me saying Merry Christmas. [And I know that saying that will open the flood gates to "You're a white, middle class girl so *you* have no idea what oppression is and, therefore, wouldn't understand our pain!"]
Too many people are out constantly looking for ways to be offended. Like you said, if you don’t believe in it/celebrate it, then just take it as a “Hey – I hope you have a great day!” kind of thing. Otherwise, we’re all going to need to start carrying around little pocket dictionaries with each religion’s holidays so that we can do a quick reference to make sure we’re not offending someone by saying “Have a good weekend.”
I typed all of that and I could’ve just copy/pasted this from you :
It seems to be that all that accomplishes is telling a Christian that they aren’t allowed to be Christian when they send me a greeting. I don’t think that’s okay… I mean, I appreciate the sentiment of tolerance, etc… but, being tolerant shouldn’t mean comprising something about yourself that is not meant to subjugate another person’s beliefs in the first place.
Simply stated, it’s okay with me if Christian you (metaphoric use) is saying Merry Christmas to Muslim me. As long as you’re not disparaging me for not joining in or being the same, then we’re good. “
@Sheila, You know the best way to suck up to me is to quote me TO me, right? Of course you knew. Of course.
Lets just be grateful we’re permitted to wish one another our own specific holidays without being shot or whatever. Lets just be happy we live in such a great country as Canada (or America) and that we have these freedoms, and stop looking for ways to be insulted by one another! It’s tiring.
@Momma, Exactly. Sometimes, I feel like we’re just a little entitled… and lack a degree of perspective about these issues.
@Faiqa, Right. We forget that our God (Allah, Yahweh or whatever name we call Him) gave us these celebrations although HE doesn’t need them for HIS sake: *we* need them for our own well-being. So let everyone celebrate in their own tradition (Tradition) without thinking our way is the only way. I think it may have been Saint Augustine who said that anyone *searching* for God (Allah, Yahweh or Whomever) has indeed found him.
)
I love reading your blog and learning about your tradition. (or Tradition)
Maybe you’d be interested to know that the for the first time a Muslim man was elected Mayor of a major city here in Canada…Calgary, the city DeannaBanana lives in as a matter of fact.
@Momma, And he won by a landslide.
I KNEW you got a discount!!
Anyway, I send out Happy Holiday cards. One of the benefits of going to a school full of “Indians” (I thought you’d like that!) and Jews meant I was exposed to so many other religions very young. Actually, now that I think about it, it bugs me that my daughter isn’t – I’m gonna have to change that!
I *do* celebrate Christmas, so I want to wish everyone a merry one. And if you (as in “one”, not yelling at Faiqa) celebrate something different than what I do, I want you to wish me the greeting for that holiday! Is that so horrible, people? NO!
And when you greet me with your holiday I will respond in kind if I know how to.
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness. (I’m now an atheist who celebrates Christmas for the fun parts) When I was a kid, and someone wished me a Merry Christmas, I would reply, “You know it’s just a pagan holiday with Christian window dressing, right?” I think *I* was the one who was offensive. And worse? I started this at about five years old, and didn’t stop until I was about 13.
there is no way i would ever dream of shoving my religion down someone’s throat, but i always hope people take my cheery greetings in the way i intend them: shared happiness.
If no one’s mentioned this, too, you have to really consider that some large percent of the people celebrating Xmas aren’t actually religious at all. After all, it’s become a grandiose occasion for everyone to celebrate. WITH CREDIT CARDS. (and cheer)
I wish You & Yours Happiness Every Day of the Year! Who doesn’t want to be Happy? I think as Humans, we could leave God (however you concieve him/her/it/? to be)Out of this. Happiness is a very Individual thing, after all. What makes Tariq happy doesn’t necessarily make you, me or other people happy,nor should it. I have not sent cards out for years’ I will however participate in @JettSuperior ‘s awesome Ornament Swap ’cause I have a Lot of Old Ornaments ( they are Festive & happy!) if you’d like me to send you an Ornament- Just ask! If it will make you Happy, that is…
I am not religious, but still celebrate Christmas. It’s the time most of my family gets together because we live in different places, so it’s a time of love and togetherness and family for me. My standard wish is Happy Holidays, but like Poppy I offer and respond to greetings for all holidays if I know how. And thanks to you, I now know about Eid!
I am not religious, but still celebrate Christmas. It’s the time most of my family gets together because we live in different places, so it’s a time of love and togetherness and family for me. My standard wish is Happy Holidays, but like Poppy I offer and respond to greetings for all holidays if I know how. And thanks to you, I now know about Eid!
Tonight they are celebrating Eid at the prison where my wife works. We celebrate Christmas, but I understand that some people don’t. We also tend to celebrate Winter Solstice, because if C cared enough to pick a religion, Wicca would probably be it. So, we’re just kind of ambivalently weird and all over the map!!
hmm. it is as i suspected with the gas discount. do you get a slurpee discount too?
i usually send out “happy holidays” cards, and it isn’t unusual for my cards to bring the snark – and THAT gets all sorts of interesting reactions. i used to care, and then one year, i found myself with 5 different boxes of cards – christian, non, snarky, etc – and i was picking the card (and the stamp!) i thought each person would find the least offensive and then i said to myself, “f*** this, i’m making myself even crazier than usual” and self said, “why, yes, yes you are. stop talking to me/us in public.” and now i send the cards that i think are pretty. sometimes (if they are sparkley enough) i don’t even always notice what they say. OOH SHINY is enough for me.
and your point is exactly mine: it’s cold. it’s dark. the weather sucks and has barely started. for pete’s sake, just be nice to each other – it makes the day a bit more tolerable.
Hear, hear!
I look at it this way: the winter holidays are a time of love, celebrating your spirituality if you’re religious, and being with family and the people close to you. It doesn’t matter which holiday you are celebrating, because they all, at the core, mean the same thing.
So, let’s spread the love and celebrate together.
I’ve never had a problem with people wishing me Merry Christmas, although I don’t celebrate the same holiday.
Although, I do have a problem when people get irate at me for saying “Happy Holidays” or “Blessed Yule”… which happens a lot. I generally say Happy Holidays to be more inclusive, or say the holiday corresponding to the person’s beliefs, if I happen to know what they are. What I REALLY don’t get is the people getting mad about “Happy Holidays”… how can being mindful and sensitive to other beliefs be so wrong? Just don’t understand.
@Another Dreamer, Of course, not everyone else celebrates a holiday even… so it’s not the best response, but as I don’t celebrate a specific holiday it works the best for me I guess… hmmm. A lot to consider, it’s such a complex thing but at the same time so simple if everyone was on the same page about what was okay and what wasn’t.
I’m not sure how this fits in but I wanted to comment that one of the most decked out Christmas lawns in my neighborhood is that of my Chechnyan neighbor.
@Clayton, Heh. I’m not sure how it fits either…
This has nothing to do with Christmas cards and sending them or not sending them because I’m relatively oblivious to them and not sure when they may make a re-entry into my life.
This is simply to say that I want to thank you for confirming that you do indeed get a discount at the gas pump. I bet its full service when you pull up too.
Hmph.
@NYCWD, I can get you a discount too. It’s a “Friends, Family and Potential Political Allies” discount.
I had to laugh. It drove me nuts when ppl “found out” I was not celebrating Christmas. Like I got “stuck” being a Jew
@jessica, I’m not sure why, but I laughed really hard at “got stuck being a Jew” because YES, exactly.
You’re not special just because you didn’t get a card from me. We were too busy to send a card to ANYONE. Like many here, I’m not religious (Heck, I’m the leader of the atheist group for the state of Hawaii) but we still celebrate Christmas as a family get-together and commitment to capitalism.
You are special just because of the wonderful human being you are. I hope you are just as happy and fortunate as you were 2 days ago, if not more so.
And this was posted last Christmas?
Perfect timing for me coz I was having a little bit of a problem greeting (or sharing a greeting on Facebook)about today.
So I wrote this:
Dear sons, never mind if in the future you will turn out to be non-Val-Day believers or you don’t like being greeted in social networks specially on Heart’s Day.
Today is just another day and just like any other day i love you more today than yesterday period.
My sis in Dubai and another one in Mindanao will be happy to read your post.