30 Days of Truth, Day 12: Something You Never Get Compliments On
People never compliment me on how incredibly patient I am with people.
I tell you, I am very patient with other people’s flaws.
I can hear my friends and family laughing really loud, right now.
But, I am.
I.AM.
See, the thing is that I can’t keep my mouth shut about those flaws, so this makes me look like I’m impatient.
But, I’m not.
I.AM.NOT.
If I call someone out on something and say, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ARE YOU CRAZY?!!” it’s because I have been watching them do it for months, maybe years, without saying a single word.
I’ve been waiting for the right opportunity to say something at the perfect moment… that moment where they’re going to be receptive to what I have to say. For the moment when my words will matter. Offering advice or criticism is very much like sales. You have to know when to hold ‘em and know when to… oh.
Wait.
That’s poker. Which I am not good at because it involves strategy and lying.
But, I digress.
Let’s try an example instead of quoting country songs to strengthen relatively weak metaphors:
When Tariq asked me where the peanut butter was the other day, I totally lost it.
“OHMYGOD, Tariq, it’s in the pantry, why can’t you ever find ANYTHING without asking me where it is?”
To the outside observer, actually even to the inside observer, this seems like I’m being impatient. But, I’m not.
I’M.NOT.
Because that was the 42nd time in the past month that Tariq has asked me where the peanut butter is.
It is important to note that Tariq was in the pantry where the peanut butter was currently located when he asked this question.
It is also important to note that he was standing less than twelve inches away from the peanut butter.
It is furthermore important to note that the peanut butter was in the same place it has been the previous 41 times he has inquired regarding its whereabouts.
Finally, it is important to note that you could substitute the words socks, keys, suitcase, tax return documents, wallet, children or my sanity in the above scenario. I get asked where stuff is a lot. And over and over and OVER again.
So, see, it looks like I’m being impatient. Or a phrase that rhymes with shmajor shmitch. But, really, I have been very patient.
I just had to finally say something.
Because Tariq really needs to learn where the peanut butter is kept.
20 Responses to 30 Days of Truth, Day 12: Something You Never Get Compliments On
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Oh honey– I SOOOO get this. ’nuff said.
I heard that women have a special radar that let’s them keep track of all useful items at all times. That’s why they can never find their husbands!
i’m always the one asking my husband where things are. they are usually two inches from my nose. he will probably spontaneously combust one day when i ask if he sees my keys anywhere.
You have made a very strong case. There not a shred of doubt in my mind that Tariq is guilty.
LOL! I get it TOTALLY get it! After all, I did marry his brother
@Shabina, that made me laugh! faiqa’s post made me giggle, and then your empathy just added to the amusement! love it, love it. =)
I’m all with you! My love often gets annoyed with me when he’s staring into the fridge RIGHT AT THE BUTTER/MILK/MAYO etc., asking me where the item is…. and I tell him it’s in the “open your eyes section”. Seriously, this seem to be a general problem with men though! Not saying it doesn’t happen to us women too, it does, but I see it happen MUCH more frequently with men.
I don’t have this problem so much at home, as I do at work. I will watch someone make the same stupid,assinine mistake for the 30,000th time and lose my crap and call them on it, and what do I get??
“Now Becca, you know everyone isn’t able to work at your pace, you need to work on your patience more!!” OMG, that phrase makes me want to bash someone over the head with a rock, but I patiently wait and hear them say that again, and again, and again, ad infinitum…
All kidding aside?
I actually consider you to be EXTRAORDINARILY patient with other people’s flaws.
Way more so than, say, me.
HONEY!!! I found the P butter but where’s the JELLY???
This cracked me up because it’s totally me. Let’s just say I’m trying to cultivate patience. It’s a work in progress
I think he meant what shelf it was on.
Also, there’s no lying in poker, its pure strategy and the ability to read the other players at the table. You can create the illusion of lying, but you don’t actually lie.
but…but…you are needed!
p.s. i hate playing poker due to all the lying. on more than one occasion i have gone over the table to beat the hell out of the bastard who lied to me. fist fights just aren’t worth a game of cards, ya know?
also, tariq eats a lot of peanut butter, eh?
i love the strategic use of bold and italics and ALL-CAPS in this post, faiqa. actually, the whole post made me laugh! especially this part:
If I call someone out on something and say, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ARE YOU CRAZY?!!”
i think that’s going to be my new favorite line. the next time someone does something, i’m going to say, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ARE YOU CRAZY?!!” in an ALL-CAPS tone of voice, no less.
You are actually patient. With everyone except ME.
@Avitable, You again?
I know exactly what you mean.
However, everyone knows I’m patient just because my husband is still alive after 10 years of marriage.
Well I’d say you are very patient, indeed! I, on the other hand… not so much. I have NO patience. FOR ANYTHING. I am sooooooooo soooooo not patient. Waiting for an email… waiting for kids to walk down the stairs… waiting… waiting… and I snap all the time, too. God. I suck!
I feel I must point out that by answering the first 41 times you’ve encouraged him to continue to ask. To suddenly change the rules for time 42 is just unfair.
The best part of this comment is that it’s the first time I’ve made it to you, so I know that your self-professed patience will require you pretend to accept it even if you consider it to be flawed. Score!
