Dear N.,
We celebrated your birthday this past weekend. Finally.
I know you had a great time. I haven’t seen you laugh and smile around other kids like that… well, ever. You got the Tinkerbell cake you wanted, despite all of my efforts to convince you that the Princess cake was so much prettier. It was a good birthday party. Maybe even great.
There’s a lot of debate in our faith about whether or not we should celebrate birthdays. Your dad and I are pretty liberal about this and have always celebrated them. This year, though, as we discussed the celebration, we consciously took apart why a birthday is celebrated and what the purpose of such a celebration is.
We discussed it in the frame of reference of our values and the values we would like to pass on to you.
First, I want to remind you that you that we’ve been blessed with the means to provide for you, and moreover we were raised and have appropriated the idea that everything we have is for our children. As a result, we rarely deny you anything. Lucky for us, you’re easy to please in terms of material stuff. So.far.
You will never want for anything as long as we can help it.
But back to the birthday and what we think it means.
A birthday is a special day that marks the anniversary of your coming into the world.
The celebration of a birthday, in many ways, signifies your importance to the people that love you. It is a day of joy, of laughter and friendship. It’s a day where your friends and family honor you and show their gratitude for your presence in their life. It is also a day, that we believe, you should show gratitude for the life that you have.
Honey, we just couldn’t figure out how getting presents figured into all of that. Now, don’t take this as an indictment against anyone who can figure out how the presents factor in to it all… I’m just saying that your dad and I couldn’t figure out how getting presents that you will not even play with next year underscored these values of gratitude or true joy.
Personally, I was in a state of shock when you quickly agreed to having people donate money to charity instead of getting presents for you.
You are the most compassionate and amazing child I have ever met. Actually, the most compassionate person I have ever met. You seemed more upset by the fact that there were children without shelter, clean water and clothing than the idea of not getting presents.
So, with your permission, we asked your friends to give donations in your name to UNICEF instead of giving you presents.
And, you know what?
Because of your birthday, we were able to raise $365.
You’re five, so you don’t know what that means.
It means a temporary school for 40 children living in a disaster area and over 400 vaccines against tetanus.
It means that because of you and the people who came to your birthday, over 400 other children’s lives will be better.
It means that your friends honored you by being generous.
It means that you showed gratitude by thinking of others.
It means that 400 children’s lives will not have to end senselessly.
That, my dear daughter, is how we want to celebrate you and how we want you to be celebrated. It is how we show our gratitude to our Maker for blessing us with the treasure that is you.
I hope you get it.
I think you do.
Awwwww! That is one of the nicest things I’ve ever read. I love it. And you’re so right. People spend a lot of money on gifts that won’t hardly even get used.
What a sweetheart that she was totally fine about not getting presents.
You guys are doing a great job.
Who is this very grown up looking child in that picture? I heard the party was a big hit.
You inspire me Faiqa.
Happy belated birthday, N.
As beautiful on the inside as the outside.
Fantastic!
Happy Belated Birthday, N!!
Beautiful. What a perfect way to celebrate her life.
Beautiful. What a perfect way to celebrate her life.
awww… she looks gorgeous. And my heart just stopped… I miss them so very much… tight hugs… and now tears are rolling off my cheeks.
This is an amazing tribute to your daughter, but I have to say this – Beautiful people raise beautiful children. Kids learn what they live.
Awesome job mama (& dad)!
Your daughter is as beautiful as her parents. And I mean inside as well as outside.
We’ve done this before, too. It makes for such a very special birthday!
What a beautiful little girl!
LOVE.
We always request no gifts at our parties. My family brings a few gifts and I hate to burden the other parents with spending their money and time getting a gift that yes, my kid will forget by next year. However, I love this idea and have decided that this year, we will do a food drive for our local food pantry.
Thank you for the inspiration – Faiqa and Miss N.
That was simply AWESOME and beyond! Happy belated Birthday to N!
Awwww….that is so awesome.
Happy Birthday to you, N!
She is just a beautiful young lady, Faiqa, inside and out. Happy Birthday, N!
I am so sorry that we were not able to make it to the party. I am sure our amazing presence was sorely missed..:-)
Ok..on a serious note..I feel blessed to have friends like you and Tariq in our lives. You both are such amazing people and your “awesomeness” is reflected in your kids. May God always keep them both happy and prosperous.
XOXO to the babies..love to you guys..
your N is only 5, Faiqa!? she’s already sooo beautiful and stylish and ROCKING and compassionate. this is a reflection on you and your husband, too, for being such amazing parents. clearly, you have huge hearts, and you’re teaching your children to have the same. this post made me tear up a little. (shh, don’t tell. i hate admitting that to people.)
what a beautiful way to celebrate birthdays, celebrate your daughter and her life, and to celebrate the ways we are all inter-connected in this world.
love <3
You’re pretty much the best mom ever.
Awesome! A pleasure to read. Insha-Allah, all the best to you and your little one.
What a beautiful idea.
It sounds like you are raising an amazing little girl.
I have goosebumps galore and tears in my eyes. Love this, love the example your family sets for us. I’m inspired and hope that I can raise Jude to have such a big heart too. Brava!
A VERY happy belated birthday to miss N. What a special and amazing gesture of kindness by such a special little girl.
Happy (belated) Birthday, N!
Happy (belated) Birthday, N!
your wonderful words to your daughter brought tears to my eyes. not sure i can properly convey in a simple comment how happy my heart is right now.
love to you and your family.
and happy belated birthday to n. give her smooches on her perfect little head from me, please!
that was beautiful