How much veal *do* Tariw and Hated take, anyway?
I am not at all above admitting that I’m a little bit of snob.
Back when I first got an iPhone, nobody had an iPhone.
People that I didn’t know would wade across the room to come and look at my phone. “Wow,” they’d say, “is this an iPhone? This is so coooool.”
And, I felt cooool. Yes, my cell phone made me feel cool.
And, then? Apple decided to make a newer iPhone, and suddenly, I was dated. Old news.
And, then? Apple decided to make a newer newer iPhone and suddenly, I was double dated. Old old news.
It was in those days that I started hating my iPhone, despising it for how uncool it made me feel. To make matters worse, not only was it dated, but it was making me look stupid.
I could see it in people’s eyes, every time I pulled that old relic out. Hello, why didn’t you just wait for the new new one to come out?
Moderately cool people just do not understand that very cool people are only very cool because they do not wait for coolness to be thrust upon them, but they go forth and conquer the cool. The problem is, of course, I’m not so cool that I would discard a perfectly good phone just because there was a newer version out. Because I love the environment. Plus, I’m kind of a miser.
So, anyway, I was stupid looking and uncool.
And then ::cue angels singing:: the Android!!
This was my moment for redemption. I switched providers and got the HTC Desire which is a pretty great phone. Cool, even. I love the free apps, the Google friendly functionality and the fact that I can use it as a GPS device.
I also love the scan technology. I can basically scan UPC codes and do comparison shopping OR it can upload the calories of the food I’m consuming into a calorie counting application. The possibilities of the scan technology are endless, they say! But those are the only two I can think of, right now.
Except.
My Android is possessed. I should have known this was going to happen. The phone is named Desire.
If I’m trying to Twitter or text, it autocorrects me. It clearly does not realize that I am not someone who needs autocorrect. Not only does it autocorrect, it does so with some strange sense of … a personality.
It’s always correcting “Tariq” to “Tariw,” yet it does not correct my name. Strange.
Also, when I try to type MisterBritt‘s name, which is Jared, it autocorrects to “Hated.” I have no idea why my Android hates my friend’s husband who is a perfectly nice man that opened almost every door I walked through in NYC.
If I try to type “crap,” it autocorrects to “veal.” Apparently, it is either a member of PETA or it really dislikes veal.
And, then, it just does annoying stuff like turn “of” into “if,” or “day” into “fay,” or “to” into “ti.”
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TI IS NOT EVEN A WORD.
Anyway. I’m just going to say it.
I miss my iPhone.
And, no, iPhone mafia, I don’t expect you to take the high road in the comments section.
I know how you people roll.
63 Responses to How much veal *do* Tariw and Hated take, anyway?
Leave a Reply Cancel reply
-
Articles
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- May 2008
- April 2008
- February 2008
- January 2008
- December 2007
-
Meta
I love my iPhone. My husband had the new new new iPhone, so I took his old iPhone, abs gave our son the old old iPhone. (Ohhh look my most hated autocorrect – abs instead of and!!!!) Argh!!!! Argh!!!! Anyway. As long as you don’t have a blackberry, you’re super cool.
Also, thank you for writing this most awesome post. Because I’ve been trying to write something about stupid iPhone autocorrect, and you nailed it. Way to go, hilarious!!!!
@Loukia, Heh, my husband has a Blackberry (work) and Android (personal). So I guess they cancel each other out.
@Faiqa, Oh yes, here in Ottawa, Canada, EVERY SINGLE government employee has a BB. That’s like 95% of our population!
Also, had = has. Argh.
@Loukia, Oh, yeah, mine does that, too.
Sigh. I am so not cool. I I have NEITHER. And I suck at typing with my thumbs.
@Nanna, You are very cool. I was employing poetic license in my use of the word.
I have an old iPhone & love it. It has its faults & incorrectly autocorrects (how ridiculous!) too. I want the new iPhone for many reasons: the picture phone, ability to take video & just being able to use more than 1 function at a time. Like you, I won’t surrender to the new until my old is rendered useless. Probably! I bet you eventually come back to iPhone of your own volition. AT&T is the worst feature for it though.
@Chrisor (Ynotkissme), That issue of being able to do more than one thing at a time and not having a video camera seriously took me over to the Android side. That and AT&T has crap service here. Or should I say veal service.
My phone used to do that, but slowly began to learn that no, I don’t mean “duck” “shift” or “he’ll”. It was so frustrating while it learned it, though!
@Avitable, I think you should start using duck, shift, and he’ll instead. You know, just so you can STAND OUT AND BE DIFFERENT.
@Faiqa, hardee har har.
@Avitable,
Admit it. That was clever.
Autocorrect on my iPhone makes me crazy, so I think it’s universal.
I think there’s some kind of ritual dance you have to do in order to get back in the iPhone cult…I mean cool kids club…after deserting. You might want to find out about that.
@Lisa, I probably have to give over my firstborn child to Steve Jobs, too.
…see, THAT’S why I have a BlackBerry. It spell-checks all of my texts and e-mails before I send them, and I have the ability to turn off Auto-Correct. It also makes an amazing emergency weapon if necessary….just ask Naomi Campbell.
I repeat: BlackBerry, suckers. BlackBerry. ::wink::
@Robin, It seems BlackBerry is much better for professional users. That said, I tried to use Tariq’s BlackBerry a few weeks ago and kept touching the screen to get it to move. Talk about looking stupid.
I will never be cool enough to have an Iphone, but I have an iPod touch. It auto-corrects my foul language, which I hate!!
@Becca, I do not have an iPod Touch. Maybe I should get one so I don’t miss the iPhone.
Looks like your smart phone is kinda dumb.
@B.E. Earl, Looks that way.
Oh you are so cool. I haven’t even got a smart phone, just a normal crappy one that texts and makes calls. I would love an iphone but it costs an absolute fortune over here to have one, therefore I will be keeping my crappy one and trying really hard to be grateful for it.
@J from Ireland, You know, until recently, I ascribed to the belief that cell phones are only for when your car breaks down and you need someone to come get you. Smartphones are a great example of how technology often creates its own need. Meaning, you didn’t need to interface with Facebook, Twitter or the Internet on a phone until you *could*.
This truly highlights the difference between iPhone users and Android users.
The iPhone is designed for users who are brash, compulsive, and volatile. Android is designed for those who are cautious, thoughtful, and contemplative.
I think you’re an Android user… your Android just doesn’t know it yet.
@NYCWD, I am, I am an Android user. I feel so much better, now.
In my youth, I used to be an early adopter, but somewhere along the years lost that urge. I have opted out of the iPhone Fervor – it is something I have absolutely no desire to have. Ever.
Although, I am really over my Treo and will be getting a new phone soon -hopefully next month. That said, I really, really, really want a PalmPre – it fits my needs perfectly, even if it is not the “cool” phone to have.
And I most certainly hope the PalmPre does not have an autocorrect feature. *shudder*
@cagey, Dude. The fact that you used “early adopter” is a tell tale sign that you’re married to an Indian. True?
Misk and I ordered Droids this week. We even got the older ones, but I don’t care. I’m looking forward to exploring the possibilities this will carry.
And, even though it sounds like it’s not, TI *is* a word. It’s a kind of Polynesian plant! We had one in our home in Hawaii for good luck: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cordyline_fruticosa
@Cissa Fireheart, Given that I’m not Polynesian and that “it” is far more common in the English language, I stick by my initial feelings of exasperation.
My droid is still in training, he sure tries his hardest and cries oily tears whenever he disappoints me.
@Poppy, Haha… it’s like that show with Donald Trump… the one where he says, “You’re fired…” I really need to get cable.
@Faiqa, if you had cable you’d be watching Miss Universe right now. You don’t need cable.
A real QWERTY would solve that issue…anyway give it time ’cause DROID DOES!!!
@tariq, Anything you say is just reflective of the fact that I had to give up my iPhone because of you. Don’t you ever forget it, either.
The enhanced auto-correct in iOS 4, that lets you double-click a word and choose “Replace…” is nice and often helps in these situations. It’s kind of a cross between auto-correct and spell-check. Also, they’ve added the feature that when you backspace the space after a word that was auto-corrected, it gives you the option of replacing the auto-corrected word with what you actually typed.
If Droid doesn’t do those things yet, I’m sure someone will add them eventually.
@Ren, I actually got that update before I switched. Were you trying to make me feel better? FAIL.
Well I have neither of those “cool” phones, so I must be the biggest dorkwad on the planet!
I am completely cool with it, too.
My spell checks do not like your name, by the way.
@Sybil Law, Not having a smartphone is cool, too. It’s like still listening to REM when Nirvana first came out. Just because Nirvana was awesome, it didn’t make REM any less cool.
I am.a.genius. Admit it.
You obviously don’t play Scrabble. Ti is a word.
@Kailyn, I wonder how many words in the English language owe their existence to a Scrabble word. I guess the number would be on par with the number of players…
@Kailyn, I was thinking the exact same thing as you.
So what will you do when the new Droid comes out? You’ll be dated on this side too. What to do, what to do…
@Hockeymandad, Verizon offers free upgrades every two years. Unlike those schemers at AT&T.
My iPhone recognizes “yummylicious” as a word.
Is that a bad thing?
I have an intense love hate relationship with my phone. Some days it is awesome and the best invention on earth. I love how functional and “on the go” it is with all the apps that let me bank, pay bills, convert six thousand things, play words w friends, twitter, keep a running grocery list with a diff smart phone user, whats app, sync all calendars and apps w my mac on the same platform and I’m not entirely sure how I lived without it.
But then somedays, it does all kinds of silly things like crash on every other app or delete a bunch of notes or sync in a completely time zone and other fun things like that.
In the end, I’m stupid loyal though so I stick to my sometimes crApple.
What was the point of this comment again?
@racheal, One of the things that I miss the most is the seamless integration with my MacBook. They could be in the same room and they’d sync. That was cool. My laptop won’t speak to my Android. I think she thinks she’s better than it. And of course, my MacBook is a “she.” Her name is Virginia Woolf.
I have an old cell phone and get calls from my wife and daughters and that’s it. I spent most of my life without a portable phone and it didn’t kill me. Kool aid drinkers. All uh youse.
@RW, And, yet, you have that fancy shmancy software that types while you dictate it. I bet THAT wasn’t around most of your life. Huh.
I’m sorry, I’m still stuck at the part where you try to pass yourself off as a miser.
I don’t think that word means what you think it does.
@Miss Britt, You know what? Screw you, I’m frugal.
I kinda like Android phones. Especially the Droid X. When my AT&T contract expires in 12 months I may give some serious thought whether to get another iPhone or switch to whatever the latest and greatest Android phone is.
@Kevin Spencer, I don’t know where you live, but in terms of service providers, I chose Verizon. They paid me for my iPhone and there was a rebate running on the Desire, so they actually ended up paying ME $20 to trade in my phone. Kidding aside, it’s not that big of a difference. The only thing I really miss is that I have a Mac, so I use to use iCal… the syncing ability was nice. I suppose I could figure out how to do that with the Android, but it gives me a headache just thinking about it.
That’s why I love my Blackberry. Even if Loukia says I am uncool.
@Shelli, That’s what i’m talking about!! BlackBerry!
@Shelli, Heh. BlackBerry is the original cool.
*teehee*
iPhone FTW.
*smirk*
@Kim, <—Biased opinion. Kool Aid drinker. Not to be trusted.
Heh.
I have a Flintstone Phone that can barely do text messages.
My husband has a Droid. He is on a few message lists that send out updates at 5:30am. If that freaking phone says DROID one more morning, I’m flushing it down the toilet. He can’t turn off the sound, because then he’ll miss the alarm.
I hate the auto-correct function. It takes me 30 minutes to type a simple text message because my phone is constantly second guessing me.
The only features of my phone that shows its true level of bad ass-ery are the color (lime green) and the full keyboard that slides out from the side.
My phone my not be a smart phone but at least it doesn’t think I’m stupid. Spell check is for pussies.
I love it. I have this happen all the time! It kills me when I type a basic word that it then changes to something that isn’t even a WORD. Between autocorrect and Nola I marvel that I ever manage to type anything at all.
I do not understand the concept of trading in your iphone for anything other than an iphone. This is foreign to me.
this made me laugh out loud. i have a two year old nokia that i’m pretty sure was made from scraps. i constantly have to turn it off and then back on again in the hopes that it won’t reject my sim card. my brother got the shiny new iphone this weekend and was flashing it about looking extraordinarily cool. i am now extremely jealous. sometimes i pretend my itouch is an iphone. but it’s not. *sigh*
This is the greatest phone conversation ever.
I have a non-smart (but very cute cherry red Samsung) phone, and an iTouch. Definitely suffer iPhone envy when there’s no wifi available for my iTouch, and I totally don’t get why Apple can put a camera in the other iPod – one of the nanos, I think, but not the iTouch. But for music it’s a great iPod, and apps are SO fun. If Verizon ever does get an iPhone, I’m gonna be all over that!
Found you thru @TheBloggess, btw, and immediately subscribed!