It’s an odd thing for a woman to navigate and attempt to understand the concept of “manhood.”

For most, at least for me, the journey began when I knew I was having a boy.  “How, as a woman, does one teach a boy to be a man?”

This was the first thought that entered my head when I saw that sonogram.

The second was, “I have no idea how to do that.”

Which is funny, because I have a father, I have a brother and I’d been married to a man for almost eight years before I asked myself that question.

Tasked with the job of teaching something I know little about, I looked around for examples.  I did not have to search far.  He happened to live in the same house.  My husband has taught me so much in the past year about what a man is and is not.

A man is not someone who thinks washing dishes is women’s work.

A man is someone who comes home and asks what needs to be done in order to achieve the common goal of running a household.

A man is not someone who refers to watching his own children as “babysitting.”

A man is someone whose eyes reflect that playing, tending to and being affectionate with his own children is his absolute pleasure and honor.

A man is not someone who assumes his superiority resides upon the number of people he can control or manipulate.

A man is someone who offers himself up as a rock, a pillar upon which each person in his family can stand.

A man is not someone who keeps to himself and shuts himself off from the people who love him in a misconstrued plan to be “strong for them.”

A man is someone who expresses his appreciation and displeasure over situations in an open and positive way.  Or even less than positive.  He, at the very least, says something.

A man is not someone who compares you to others or believes that you are lucky to have him.

A man is someone who knows that because you are strong, kind, beautiful and talented, that you deserve to have him.

A man is not someone who thinks you need protecting because you are weak and less able.

A man is someone who defends you because he knows that his integrity demands that he stand up for what is right.

I no longer worry about teaching my son what it is to be “a man.”  He can play with dolls or trucks, it doesn’t matter.  He can play sports or read books.  He can wear pink or black or whatever.

It doesn’t matter, I’ll love him no matter what.

All I really want for him to do, though?  Is be a lot like his dad.  Because his dad is a “man” in every single way that counts.

Happy birthday to the two the beautiful men in my life.

( Photo courtesy of www.twitter.com/jamietamm )