Diversity, dialogue and multiculturalism in America

I’m pressed for time, tired and not in the mood, so today?  You get bullets.

Bang.bang.bang.

That is not an order.

  • I realized today that I have very few expectations regarding my friends.  Be kind to people and be honest.  It is shocking how many people can’t seem to do that, though.
  • I read the following on twitter a week ago: “Discussing another person’s moral failings is the most common form of gossip.”  I may do this under the unconscious pretense that I’m trying to derive some sort of life lesson.  In the end, though, maybe I’m just reinforcing an undercurrent of self righteousness.  Most of the time, I end up telling the person in question what I think their moral failing is, so that’s not gossip, right? It’s just terribly obnoxious.  In my defense, my levels of diplomacy border on being superhuman.  Still, is gossip actually gossip if you end up telling the person you were talking about exactly what you said?  I’m leaning towards a no.
  • Someone I was talking to the other day told me that they met someone who works on the tarmac (spelling?  I’m talking about where airplanes land) and they found out that these people who work where the airplanes land do not have FBI background checks.  I was a little horrified by that.  Even more horrifying?  The person who I was speaking with, who I have known for almost 20 years, said, “I know, and he was Algerian, for God’s sake.”  What.the.hell. I mean, I’m sure a lot of non-Muslim/non-Middle Eastern people think that kind of stuff, and they probably say it to each other, but really?  This person was so shamelessly discriminatory that they couldn’t even hold it back when they were talking to me?  That’s just rude.  If you’re going to be racist, you should compensate by being polite about it.  And, no, I didn’t say anything to them because I assumed that if knowing me for twenty years couldn’t dissuade them from assuming that all Muslims and Arabs are terrorists, then my saying something was just a waste of time.  I just pretended I had something to do and ended the conversation.
  • You know what’s stupid?  Mommy Wars.  If one more person tells me how great I am for staying at home to take care of my kids, I am going to scream.  I was raised by a woman that worked sixty hours a week, and I am well adjusted, intelligent, nurturing, loving and generally awesome.  When someone criticizes a woman for working outside the home in front of me, they’re criticizing my mom.  And a person could get cut for that.  Let’s assume that all mothers love their children.  Let us also assume that all mothers want to do what’s best for their children.  Let us also assume that what’s best for someone ELSE’S children is nobody’s business but theirs.
  • Somewhere in that last sentence lies the key to ending human suffering.  The prize for guessing it is to languish in the knowledge that it’ll only work if every single one of us cooperates and that not one more reality show can ever be created.

So.  Yeah.  Not my best work.

But I posted.

 

23 Responses to And now I remember why I don’t post everyday

  1. Courtney says:

    Nope, not your best, but worth reading anyway. :)

    Especially for this:

    * You know what’s stupid? Mommy Wars. If one more person tells me how great I am for staying at home to take care of my kids, I am going to scream. I was raised by a woman that worked sixty hours a week, and I am well adjusted, intelligent, nurturing, loving and generally awesome. When someone criticizes a woman for working outside the home in front of me, they’re criticizing my mom. And a person could get cut for that. Let’s assume that all mothers love their children. Let us also assume that all mothers want to do what’s best for their children. Let us also assume that what’s best for someone ELSE’S children is nobody’s business but theirs.

    * Somewhere in that last sentence lies the key to ending human suffering. The prize for guessing it is to languish in the knowledge that it’ll only work if every single one of us cooperates and that not one more reality show can ever be created.

  2. SciFi Dad says:

    Personally, I quite enjoyed this post.

    I am with you: if you tell the person about it, it’s not gossip, it’s criticism.

    Also: I’m a bit surprised about the lack of background checks for ground staff at airports. That’s a bit disconcerting.

  3. Robin says:

    I am learning that having few expectations about life in general is easiest. :)

  4. RW says:

    Not to be a downer (hahahahaha) but I seriously doubt we will ever get over the endemic, casual racism and bigotry that is obviously becoming what appears to be a hallmark of the American character.

    I hate to say it, but the more I see, the more I become certain most of us here are complete idiots.

  5. Nanna says:

    Not your best? While I love the finely crafts and thoughtful “works”, I really enjoy when it feels
    like I’m sitting in your kitchen drinking coffee and talking. Like THIS post

    And seriously? We’re STILL Mommy-bashing each other?

  6. Nanna says:

    Not your best? While I love the finely crafts and thoughtful “works”, I really enjoy when it feels
    like I’m sitting in your kitchen drinking coffee and talking. Like THIS post

    And seriously? We’re STILL Mommy-bashing each other?

  7. B.E. Earl says:

    Here’s a question that may or may not be offensive, but I’m going to ask anyway. You, in a relational way, used the term “Arab” for yourself. Well, what you actually said was that knowing “you” for twenty years should dissuade someone from thinking all Muslims and Arabs were terrorists. Nor really the same thing, but…

    So my question is: What is the definition of “Arab”? Is it someone from the Arabian peninsula and surrounding area or is it merely someone who speaks Arabic as their native tongue? I’m curious because I’ve worked with folks from Iran and I know they disliked being called Arab. Maybe it was just them. But is a Muslim from Algeria in North Africa considered to be an Arab because of his language? His religion?

    I’m honestly curious about this, and I don’t know the answer. Or is it just another useless label that really doesn’t mean anything and I shut probably just shut my mouth?

  8. whall says:

    Yeah, so you posted. Rub it in a little more why don’t you? Wow, you mommies at home must have it *real* hard when you have time to blog.

    (I think we’ve progressed as online buddies to the point where I don’t need the emoticon)

    (and yet I find a way to put in a disclaimer for all your adoring fans)

    (speaking of adoring fans… *must be nice*…)

  9. whall says:

    Yeah, so you posted. Rub it in a little more why don’t you? Wow, you mommies at home must have it *real* hard when you have time to blog.

    (I think we’ve progressed as online buddies to the point where I don’t need the emoticon)

    (and yet I find a way to put in a disclaimer for all your adoring fans)

    (speaking of adoring fans… *must be nice*…)

  10. Miss Britt says:

    Faiqa, if I ever get on a reality TV show, you will watch. Do you hear me? You will. If I have to tie you to a chair and force you, you will watch me on TV!!!

    Also?

    “Still, is gossip actually gossip if you end up telling the person you were talking about exactly what you said? I’m leaning towards a no.”

    No. Gossip, in my opinion, is sitting around talking crap about people for the sheer joy of talking crap about people.

    That day you made me cry at Disney World? (he he he) Talking about it to Jared (even if hadn’t been my husband) was a sincere effort to understand you better, me better, etc. etc. etc. My intent was always, however, to eventually discuss it with you. Not gossip.

  11. Hi, I’m guilty of having discussed someone’s moral failings with my sister, um, last night. I felt bad after doing it, but I just needed to rant. The person in question already knows their failings, so it’s probably not gossiping to talk about it to my sister, but I feel horrible.

    And I agree with you on the racism and Mommy Wars crap. I have been discriminated against for being white (believe it or not; someday I am going to have to blog it), and I have for being a woman, too. It’s not a nice feeling. And I rue the day I become a mom and someone tries to do the whole, “I stay at home with my kids,” or, “My kid is walking, and yours is still crawling?” It pisses me off when I hear or see it happening to other moms.

  12. Errin says:

    Mommy Wars, ughhhh!!! I can’t believe we’re still doing this to each other in 2010. Yes, clearly we should all spend time and energy debating the well-considered decisions of involved and caring parents regarding their children. Because we live in a land of sunshine and rainbows and no child ever goes hungry or unloved or abused. Why in the world should we worry about solving REAL problems when the fake ones give us so much satisfaction? SERIOUSLY???? *shakes fist at sky and mutters inarticulately*

  13. Jason says:

    Thank you for posting! It makes me sad when my favorites just dwindle away and die.

    I’m pretty sure that anything you have to say will interest me.

  14. Hockeymandad says:

    Gossip is what we do after you leave. Haha, I kid. We don’t gossip about you.

    I also like bullet posts. Raw, to the point, and real.

  15. Ren says:

    I think part of the problem people have with letting everyone decide what’s best for their own children is that we already agree that there are certain things (eg. abuse) that are wholly unacceptable. Of course, we often can’t actually agree on the exact definition of those things, and the slippery slope begins.

  16. Ren says:

    I think part of the problem people have with letting everyone decide what’s best for their own children is that we already agree that there are certain things (eg. abuse) that are wholly unacceptable. Of course, we often can’t actually agree on the exact definition of those things, and the slippery slope begins.

  17. Half of the blogs I read are discussing Mommy Wars today, wonder why? I agree. D.U.M.B.

  18. Avitable says:

    Wait. You think you’re nurturing and loving?

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I mean . . . yesss.

  19. MidLifeMama says:

    It may not be your best work but you pretty much just summarized stuff that has been bubbling around in my head lately. A mom who used to live in our neighborhood moved to another town, where she felt mothers “You know, really love and care about their children” because they tend to stay home full time. What the whoodahay? It is all exhausting.

  20. Jina says:

    U give me a complex. Not your best??? Im dreading your best now..:P

  21. Jina says:

    Ah. U have no idea. U made my day, na entire week or better, month..:)

  22. Sybil Law says:

    If you were an Algerian mother, I would probably not even agree with you. However, since that clearly isn’t the case, as it is, I agree with you. As usual. ;)

  23. I agree with you!!! I hate hearing everybody’s opinion on my parenting decisions, so extremely frustrating. Racist people suck, and I’ve missed reading your blog :) life…ah how it grabs us by the balls and runs with us. Or something…

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