If I went to an office every day, my water cooler talk would not be about how Sarah in accounting hooked up with James from Human Resources.
I would change the face of water cooler talk forever.
It would go a little something like this:
This is absolutely true. I, personally, am friends with Premier Wen and have received 42 Mafia Wars notifications, 18 Farmville requests and 435 quizzes, one of which asked me what kind of pastry would I be. I found out I was a mocha chocolate cake, and that made me hate communism.
Look, I know people from Afghanistan who couldn’t hack it in Afghanistan for ten minutes let alone ten years. Now, Gen. Casey is saying our soldiers might be there for another ten years?! No, wait. No, he didn’t. Oh, stop, wait, he did. No, he said maybe. Nooo, he… wait, what were we talking about? Somebody call Ken Starr. We clearly need something inane to distract us from trying to make sense of any of this.
Yeah? Great. Even better? I am no longer a World Cup widow.
Misguided, misdirected, and racist. And deserving of an entire post. Stay tuned.
I subscribe to CNN News, Huffington Post, and The Guardian, but had to google “Africa,” “Congo” and “news” to get an update on what’s happening in Congo. Fifty thousand people displaced since June 28 and I had to go looking for it to read about it. This? Is not right.
It’s a sad, sad day for jetsetting potheads all over the EU.
Want to share any headlines and your thoughts? Then, please, feel free to engage in the loftiest brand of water cooler talk ever in the comments section…
Posted by Faiqa on July 16, 2010 11:44 am • I've Heard Nuclear Holocausts Can Be Pretty Unpleasant • 16 comments
16 Comments »
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Hockeymandad Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 11:50 am
haha, world cup widow! My wife was totally one of those!
[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 11:53 am
Did you hear about the incident in France where a woman was verbally attacked in public for covering her face? It was shameful and infuriating and so, so wrong.
I heard they finally capped the oil leak, so now, hopefully, we will stay interested long enough to make sure this gets cleaned up.
[Reply]
Dave2 Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 11:55 am
ZOMG! SARAH IN ACCOUNTING HOOKED UP WITH JAMES FROM HUMAN RESOURCES?!? DOESN’T SHE KNOW HE’S MARRIED?!? AND WHAT ABOUT HER FIANCE?
And I am supposed to be having lunch with James today… awwwwwkward!
[Reply]
Sybil Law Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 11:58 am
I am totally not going to tell Dave2 what Sarah said about James just last week, too. She’s such a bitch!
The Congo story just blows my mind.
We have it so effing easy here, daily.
[Reply]
B.E. Earl Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 12:02 pm
25,000 new asteroids found by NASA’s sky mapping
We’re fucked! Discuss.
[Reply]
RW Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
I heard the inflationary model of the Big Bang Theory has been displaced with a collision between two universes model and that this explains how quantum physics and relativity can exist in the same universe despite the areas in which they are incompatible and seem to refute each other. Of course to get here you need an 11th dimension instead of the previously accepted 10, but ever since Hawking’s idea that information is completely lost when it goes through a black hole (against all the accepted laws of physics and which he later recanted) was challenged by Susskind those String Theory guys have really made some great strides.
[Reply]
B.E. Earl Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
@RW, Dimensions…these go to eleven.
[Reply]
RW Reply:
July 16th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
@B.E. Earl, Not to mention the parallel universes one centimeter from my nose. Who would’ve thought they’d ever hook up?
[Reply]
Elizabeth Kaylene Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 2:30 pm
France banned burqas?! Why in hell would they do that?! (I know I could just read the article, but if I see some dumb reason for it, I’m probably going to explode.)
[Reply]
justsomethoughts Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 3:25 pm
At least you know premier wen
I got nothing
Oh. That may have to do with my not being on facebook…
Your water cooler discussions will put the company out of business.
[Reply]
Jason Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 3:28 pm
It is an outrage that unthinkable things are happening in other parts of the world (usually Africa) and we have no clue about it in the US. The fact that you had to go LOOKING for it is disgusting.
I hate that the media gets to choose the world events we know about.
[Reply]
Petunia Said,
July 16, 2010 @ 4:11 pm
The two bombings in Uganda that killed 64 people at gatherings to watch the world cup final. Heard that one didn’t make it to the US even though there were Americans involved. Anyone? Beuler?
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
July 17, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
Is France banning burqas like a school in the US banning baggy jeans? It’s not really tackling the problem, is it?
[Reply]
SciFi Dad Said,
July 18, 2010 @ 1:24 pm
I thought they only used Facebook to sow unrest in high schools so that the alienated kids would be more willing to go to Afghanistan.
[Reply]
Alecia, http://hoobingfamilyadventures.com Said,
July 18, 2010 @ 6:24 pm
Can I join you at your water cooler?
[Reply]
Veiled Threats | Native Born Said,
July 22, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
[...] my post International Water Cooler, I mentioned the movement to ban Islamic face veils in [...]