Secrets of Adulthood | Native Born

Inspired by The Happiness Project, by Gretchin Rubin

Houseplants are an immense responsibility, much like pets, but with far less of a ROI.

Avoid dishonesty whenever humanly possible.

Call ahead.

Despite the fact that people may be more than what they appear, it’s best not to argue with someone about who you think they are.

Keep a purse with you, in addition to your wallet and phone, make sure it has: tissues, lipstick, some sort of perfume, hand sanitizer, chewing gum and a small snack.

Saying no to one thing is saying yes to another.

Tip well.

If you’re not comfortable with other people discussing your sex life behind your back, do not discuss your sex life with people.

When formulating a plan, leave blank areas for the unexpected.

Kindness as a fundamental characteristic is severely underrated.

Preparing dinner at home does not take more time than going out to dinner.

Pedestals: avoid putting people on them, avoid being put on them.

Express admiration openly and often, and accept it with grace and humility.

A statement of personal preferences is not an accusation or a judgment against the preferences of another.

Appreciation is not the prize but merely the side effect of doing good for others.

Perfection? Not possible. Do your best, if it’s not good enough? Somebody else can try. And will.

The more someone talks about class the less likely they are to have it.

A lack of time actually translates to a breakdown in the ability to prioritize. It’s also usually a reflection of not saying “no” enough.

Smile at others often. Except, apparently, when walking down a street in Paris or New York City.

When faced with the dilemma of analyzing another person’s intention, err on the side of optimism and good will.

No matter how wealthy you are, always look at the price tag.

Spend money honestly. If you can’t afford it, don’t borrow to buy it.

Clear expectations can help avoid misunderstandings.

Lime flavored Perrier is both indulgent and refreshing and a wonderful substitute for diet soda.

Advice is only well received when explicitly asked for.

Being well liked and well respected are different things. Strive for the respect, worthy people will like you because of it.

Well groomed eyebrows can change your life.

Avoid using the Socratic Method to drive home a point. Unless you’re a law professor at Harvard, it will simply annoy and discourage people.

Clean up the kitchen before bed, nothing is more annoying than waking up to a mess.

Befriend people who own and have read more books than you.

Respect that the biggest expert of your child’s personality is actually your child. Believe them when they tell you who they are.

Some people are better than you, you are better than some people. And you should stop caring who is who.

When flying on an international flight exceeding six hours, bring at the very least the following in your carry on luggage: warm socks, books, moisturizer, and a very light change of clothes. Do not bring a carry on that you cannot lift over your head. And do not wear binding shoes. And if you do wear binding shoes, then, don’t take them off until you get to your hotel room. I repeat, do not take them off on the plane.

***

What about you? What PG-13 secrets of adulthood would you like to share?

Posted by Faiqa on February 21, 2010 11:21 pm • Seriously. I Have No Clue. About Anything. • 42 comments

42 Comments »

B.E. Earl Said,

February 21, 2010 @ 11:29 pm

I dig a piece of advice that includes “return on investment”.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:15 am
@B.E. Earl, Come on, now, if you’re going to pretend like you read the whole post, at least, pick the fourth or fifth thing on the list… that seems less obvious.

[Reply]
B.E. Earl Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:54 am
@Faiqa, I thought the same thing when I was leaving the comment. But I had to do it. I love me some ROI. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not a fan of lime flavored Perrier. Not at all. Especially when lime flavored seltzer is so much cheaper…and fizzier.

[Reply]
Dave2 Said,

February 21, 2010 @ 11:36 pm

I dunno about the eyebrows thing, but I can pretty much agree with everything except not using the Socratic Method. I don’t care if I annoy or discourage people because sometimes persons of sublime ignorance DESERVE a little annoyance… and using pointed questions to beat down and diminish their outrageous douchiness can be some of the most fun you can have (legally, anyway).

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:15 am
@Dave2, “Persons of sublime ignorance DESERVE a little annoyance…” Now, is that something Buddha said… but, yeah, I think you’re right on that one.

[Reply]
Dave2 Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:19 am
It all depends on how you look at it, I suppose. In my opinion, how else are they going to learn and grow?

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:29 am
@Dave2, I agree. And, let me say, that I am so glad that OTHER people have decided to help them grow (that’s not sarcasm, I sincerely mean it).

Because me? Don’t care. I’m selfish that way. And tired, oh so tired, of ignorant people.

I do appreciate the fact that there are people like you who call people on their BS, though. It’s a dirty, yet strangely satisfying, job, I presume.

[Reply]
Poppy Said,

February 21, 2010 @ 11:43 pm

Be yourself. If you are anything but yourself people have no choice but to accidentally like the person you present rather than the person you are.

Passive-aggressive is passé. Being direct is the new black.

I enjoy your list, Faiqa.

[Reply]
Miss Britt Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 8:46 am
@Poppy, “Be yourself. If you are anything but yourself people have no choice but to accidentally like the person you present rather than the person you are.”

Yes, yes, yes. I want this on my tombstone.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am
@Poppy, Love. It.

[Reply]
Karl Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:41 am
@Poppy, Being passive-aggressive has ALWAYS been passe. But yeah.

[Reply]
Hockeymandad Said,

February 21, 2010 @ 11:46 pm

Boy that’s a good list and I need to do more of those.

My addition would be as an adult towards children, your own or not, do a little more listening than dictating.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am
@Hockeymandad, I like that.

[Reply]
Sybil Law Said,

February 21, 2010 @ 11:46 pm

THIS is definitely the main reason I love you.
Well, and your big rack.
Ha!

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:16 am
@Sybil Law, Sigh. It’s the breastfeeding.

[Reply]
Robin Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 12:03 am

I adored this list. But you asked for advice, right?

Let things go…especially things that keep you angry or sad. It doesn’t make you a weaker person or make you stupid or invite people to walk all over you. It helps you have a simple, peaceful life, and eventually you’ll know what’s fighting for and what’s not. I have been doing this a lot lately, and I think it’s shaping my life for the better.

Oh yeah, and forgive yourself for all of the dumb mistakes you’ve made. The only time it’s too late is when you’re dead.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:17 am
@Robin, Very, very good advice. Something I try to do, as well.

[Reply]
RW Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 1:17 am

“Just because someone used an ad hominem against you doesn’t mean you’re not, in fact, an idiot.”

You mean like that?

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:22 am
@RW, My God. It’s uncanny. In the original draft of this post, that was the *only* thing on the list.

Then, I revised it to the current version because for me, there are two great questions in life: (1) How much of life is fabricated truth and how much is innate and (2) is that really how one uses ad hominem?

[Reply]
RW Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:56 am
@Faiqa, probably not, but you’re the only one who noticed.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:26 pm
@RW, You’re old, so you must be correct.

That’s one, right?

[Reply]
RW Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:43 pm
@Faiqa, no that’s a backhanded compliment. ad hominem is when you can’t debate the person on the other side of the issue so you attack him personally like…

“We need to look at ways to fix the healthcare mess in the country.”

“Socialist!!”

Like that.

[Reply]
RW Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 1:47 pm
actually I take that back, your example is another version. It has to be cuz you’re a Mommy.

[Reply]
Alecia @ Hoobing Family Adventures Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 1:27 am

Great list! I always like the advice to before you leave the house, take off the last accessory you put on.

Also, always wear make up to the salon when you get your hair done. Otherwise, I end up feeling ugly with everyone dressed to the 9s and my hair wet and face blah.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:23 am
@Alecia @ Hoobing Family Adventures, Oh, yeah, I was just thinking about that last week when I went to a party with my parents… someone did not get that memo about accessories.

[Reply]
SciFi Dad Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 7:37 am

Sometimes, you’re not paranoid; you just haven’t figured out who’s trying to kill you.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:24 am
@SciFi Dad, I think I know…

[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 8:49 am

This is brilliant. It shouldn’t surprise me that so many of my fundamental “rules for life” are included on this list.

Hmmm… what would I add?

I’ll tell you the “wisdom” I imparted on my son this morning…

“Be careful deciding or declaring that you ‘don’t like’ something. Liking one thing does not necessarily mean you dislike another. It’s OK to say ‘I like this, I haven’t tried that.’

Declaring your dislike is a dead end. Admitting you haven’t yet formed an opinion opens up a new world to you.”

And, yes, I DID say all of that to my 10 year old before 7am this morning. Poor kid.

[Reply]
Finn Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:26 am
@Miss Britt, I love this. And now my 11-year-old is going to have to hear it at some point. Torturing kids with wisdom is fun!

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:26 am
@Miss Britt, That’s a great one. Well, your ten year old is one of the smartest people I know, so I think it’s OK.

[Reply]
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 11:09 am

Well-groomed eyebrows… YES.

[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:26 am
@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing], Changed.my.life.

[Reply]
Finn Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 11:29 am

When you die, no one is going to say, “S(he) kept a very clean house.” And it they do, they probably will not be attending the funeral, so who the fuck cares?

The first 100 years are the hardest.

Take nothing personally. Nothing. It’s not about YOU, it’s about them.

[Reply]
Karl Said,

February 22, 2010 @ 11:44 am

Great list. I’d add:

Surround yourself with good, honest, intelligent, witty people. You won’t be sorry.

Try to see through a child’s eyes. Being child-like is totally different than being childISH.

[Reply]
Slyde Said,

February 23, 2010 @ 11:46 am

i had about 20 extra good pieces of advices, until you threw in that silly pg-13 disclaimer.

bah.

[Reply]
Avitable Said,

February 24, 2010 @ 12:07 am

Now I know why you befriended me. And well-groomed eyebrows have changed my life.

My advice?

Always date girls with small hands.

[Reply]
muskrat Reply:
April 8th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
@Avitable, Yes.

[Reply]
Kate Said,

February 25, 2010 @ 6:06 pm

The earlier in life you realize the world does not revolve solely around you, the less stressed, more content and more patient you will be.

Just because someone is famous doesn’t mean they they’re cooler or smarter or nicer than you. As a kid, I always thought that. As an adult, I’ve met a number of famous people (mostly musicians), all of whom were terribly normal.

[Reply]
Elizabeth Kaylene Said,

February 28, 2010 @ 10:20 pm

LOVED this list.

[Reply]
GrandeMocha Said,

March 1, 2010 @ 10:06 am

Always go to the bathroom before you leave the house.

[Reply]
Sarcastica Said,

March 9, 2010 @ 1:19 pm

I love this post. LOVE it.
Seriously. xoxo

[Reply]
Anna Said,

April 23, 2010 @ 5:20 am

“Preparing dinner at home does not take more time than going out to dinner.”
If you know to prepare a dinner..

WATCH ROBIN HOOD 2010 ONLINE

[Reply]