Dear California,

Thank you so much for loaning us your Hilary for the past year, it has been a real pleasure.

She’s one of my best friends now, and it is so hard for me to figure out how that happened so fast.  I don’t make best friends very fast, you know.  That stuff takes years with a person like me.  Personally, I think it’s because you have a hippy-dippy love culture going on California, and a few of us in Florida got it all over our clothes while Hilly was here.

Happiness.  That’s what Hillary means, and I have never met someone so dedicated to the pursuit of happiness.  Make sure, California, she finds it when she gets there because she’s worked for it.  She deserves it.

Hilly is our Michael, the reluctant one, the one who pretends she doesn’t belong, but, in the end, the one who belongs most of all.  In fact, she defined The Family in so many ways.  Vito, Sonny and Tom aren’t much fun without Michael.  I mean, they’re still fascinating and awesome, but, let’s face it, they aren’t much of a mafia without Michael around.

California, please do let Hilly know that there will never be another Michael.  Not for us, not for me.  There can be only one.  That’s actually from Highlander.  Which I enjoyed and was probably filmed in California, so thanks for that, too.

Anyway, California, with your awesome weather, super nice people who are so laid back and with your superhero Austrian governor who is surprisingly Republican, thank you for lending us Hilary for a year.  She made Florida so much better when she was here.

Disco Baby, N. and The Dood Kisses,

Faiqa

P.S. Please don’t fall into the ocean.  Seriously.  I mean it.

Edited:  And I spelled her name wrong in the original post.  Because I am an awesome friend.

Inspired by The Happiness Project, by Gretchin Rubin

• Houseplants are an immense responsibility, much like pets, but with far less of a ROI.

• Avoid dishonesty whenever humanly possible.

• Call ahead.

• Despite the fact that people may be more than what they appear, it’s best not to argue with someone about who you think they are.

• Keep a purse with you, in addition to your wallet and phone, make sure it has: tissues, lipstick, some sort of perfume, hand sanitizer, chewing gum and a small snack.

• Saying no to one thing is saying yes to another.

• Tip well.

• If you’re not comfortable with other people discussing your sex life behind your back, do not discuss your sex life with people.

• When formulating a plan, leave blank areas for the unexpected.

• Kindness as a fundamental characteristic is severely underrated.

• Preparing dinner at home does not take more time than going out to dinner.

• Pedestals: avoid putting people on them, avoid being put on them.

• Express admiration openly and often, and accept it with grace and humility.

• A statement of personal preferences is not an accusation or a judgment against the preferences of another.

• Appreciation is not the prize but merely the side effect of doing good for others.

• Perfection?  Not possible.  Do your best, if it’s not good enough?  Somebody else can try.  And will.

• The more someone talks about class the less likely they are to have it.

• A lack of time actually translates to a breakdown in the ability to prioritize.  It’s also usually a reflection of not saying “no” enough.

• Smile at others often.  Except, apparently, when walking down a street in Paris or New York City.

• When faced with the dilemma of analyzing another person’s intention, err on the side of optimism and good will.

• No matter how wealthy you are, always look at the price tag.

• Spend money honestly.  If you can’t afford it, don’t borrow to buy it.

• Clear expectations can help avoid misunderstandings.

• Lime flavored Perrier is both indulgent and refreshing and a wonderful substitute for diet soda.

• Advice is only well received when explicitly asked for.

• Being well liked and well respected are different things.  Strive for the respect, worthy people will like you because of it.

• Well groomed eyebrows can change your life.

• Avoid using the Socratic Method to drive home a point.  Unless you’re a law professor at Harvard, it will simply annoy and discourage people.

• Clean up the kitchen before bed, nothing is more annoying than waking up to a mess.

• Befriend people who own and have read more books than you.

• Respect that the biggest expert of your child’s personality is actually your child.  Believe them when they tell you who they are.

• Some people are better than you, you are better than some people.  And you should stop caring who is who.

• When flying on an international flight exceeding six hours, bring at the very least the following in your carry on luggage: warm socks, books, moisturizer, and a very light change of clothes.  Do not bring a carry on that you cannot lift over your head.  And do not wear binding shoes.  And if you do wear binding shoes, then, don’t take them off until you get to your hotel room.  I repeat, do not take them off on the plane.

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What about you?  What PG-13 secrets of adulthood would you like to share?