Dear California,

Thank you so much for loaning us your Hilary for the past year, it has been a real pleasure.

She’s one of my best friends now, and it is so hard for me to figure out how that happened so fast.  I don’t make best friends very fast, you know.  That stuff takes years with a person like me.  Personally, I think it’s because you have a hippy-dippy love culture going on California, and a few of us in Florida got it all over our clothes while Hilly was here.

Happiness.  That’s what Hillary means, and I have never met someone so dedicated to the pursuit of happiness.  Make sure, California, she finds it when she gets there because she’s worked for it.  She deserves it.

Hilly is our Michael, the reluctant one, the one who pretends she doesn’t belong, but, in the end, the one who belongs most of all.  In fact, she defined The Family in so many ways.  Vito, Sonny and Tom aren’t much fun without Michael.  I mean, they’re still fascinating and awesome, but, let’s face it, they aren’t much of a mafia without Michael around.

California, please do let Hilly know that there will never be another Michael.  Not for us, not for me.  There can be only one.  That’s actually from Highlander.  Which I enjoyed and was probably filmed in California, so thanks for that, too.

Anyway, California, with your awesome weather, super nice people who are so laid back and with your superhero Austrian governor who is surprisingly Republican, thank you for lending us Hilary for a year.  She made Florida so much better when she was here.

Disco Baby, N. and The Dood Kisses,

Faiqa

P.S. Please don’t fall into the ocean.  Seriously.  I mean it.

Edited:  And I spelled her name wrong in the original post.  Because I am an awesome friend.

Inspired by The Happiness Project, by Gretchin Rubin

• Houseplants are an immense responsibility, much like pets, but with far less of a ROI.

• Avoid dishonesty whenever humanly possible.

• Call ahead.

• Despite the fact that people may be more than what they appear, it’s best not to argue with someone about who you think they are.

• Keep a purse with you, in addition to your wallet and phone, make sure it has: tissues, lipstick, some sort of perfume, hand sanitizer, chewing gum and a small snack.

• Saying no to one thing is saying yes to another.

• Tip well.

• If you’re not comfortable with other people discussing your sex life behind your back, do not discuss your sex life with people.

• When formulating a plan, leave blank areas for the unexpected.

• Kindness as a fundamental characteristic is severely underrated.

• Preparing dinner at home does not take more time than going out to dinner.

• Pedestals: avoid putting people on them, avoid being put on them.

• Express admiration openly and often, and accept it with grace and humility.

• A statement of personal preferences is not an accusation or a judgment against the preferences of another.

• Appreciation is not the prize but merely the side effect of doing good for others.

• Perfection?  Not possible.  Do your best, if it’s not good enough?  Somebody else can try.  And will.

• The more someone talks about class the less likely they are to have it.

• A lack of time actually translates to a breakdown in the ability to prioritize.  It’s also usually a reflection of not saying “no” enough.

• Smile at others often.  Except, apparently, when walking down a street in Paris or New York City.

• When faced with the dilemma of analyzing another person’s intention, err on the side of optimism and good will.

• No matter how wealthy you are, always look at the price tag.

• Spend money honestly.  If you can’t afford it, don’t borrow to buy it.

• Clear expectations can help avoid misunderstandings.

• Lime flavored Perrier is both indulgent and refreshing and a wonderful substitute for diet soda.

• Advice is only well received when explicitly asked for.

• Being well liked and well respected are different things.  Strive for the respect, worthy people will like you because of it.

• Well groomed eyebrows can change your life.

• Avoid using the Socratic Method to drive home a point.  Unless you’re a law professor at Harvard, it will simply annoy and discourage people.

• Clean up the kitchen before bed, nothing is more annoying than waking up to a mess.

• Befriend people who own and have read more books than you.

• Respect that the biggest expert of your child’s personality is actually your child.  Believe them when they tell you who they are.

• Some people are better than you, you are better than some people.  And you should stop caring who is who.

• When flying on an international flight exceeding six hours, bring at the very least the following in your carry on luggage: warm socks, books, moisturizer, and a very light change of clothes.  Do not bring a carry on that you cannot lift over your head.  And do not wear binding shoes.  And if you do wear binding shoes, then, don’t take them off until you get to your hotel room.  I repeat, do not take them off on the plane.

***

What about you?  What PG-13 secrets of adulthood would you like to share?

A week ago, I posted about the ever growing stack of novels on my bedside table.

It occurred to me that my opinions on these novels make for excellent blog fodder, and so I offer you a quick review of the most recently finished work from what I’ve termed The Stack.

People who know me really well should appreciate the huge leap it took on my part to approach reading a novel that might be categorized as science fiction.  I chose Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy because, frankly, I found the movie slightly amusing and thought the novel was probably a good read.  I was right.  Sort of.

Completion of the novel solidly proves that (1) the movie was actually really awful and (2) this is a perfect example of why watching a movie is never a viable substitute for reading a book.

Unless we’re talking about Twilight.

The late Douglas Adams was a hilarious writer, injecting dry wit and a sense of irony that is both ordinary and brilliant into a  great premise.

After the Earth is destroyed by a bureaucratic alien race called the Vogons to make way for a hyperspatial freeway, Arthur Dent, our anti-hero, is saved by his friend Ford Prefect, an incognito visitor from another planet.

Ford, who also happens to be a contributing writer to The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and Arthur subsequently fall in with a cast of quirky characters, including a hilariously depressed robot.  I mean, really, why would someone create a robot personality that was depressed?  Little things like this is what makes the book really enjoyable.  I particularly respect how this work pokes fun at its own genre in a pretty obvious way and doesn’t in any way, remotely, not at all, never ever takes itself seriously.

I purchased the Complete Hitchiker’s Guide which includes all four of Adams’s novels, but I only finished the first.  Mostly because I have a whole bunch of other books I want to read first.  I’m definitely going to come back to it, though, so I highly recommend it if you’re in the mood for something light, clever and generally funny.

Next in “The Stack”?  Stephen King’s On Writing.  Yes, I am aware of how trite that is.  Thanks.

I’m about two thirds the way through.  So far, so brilliant.

From On Writing (p. 127):

I’m convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing.  If one is writing for one’s own pleasure, that fear may be mild — timidity is the word I’ve used here.  If, however, one is working under deadlines… that fear may be intense.  Dumbo got airborne with the helo of a magic feather; you may feel the urge to grasp a passive verb or one of those nasty adverbs for the same reason.  Just remember before you do that Dumbo didn’t need the  feather, the magic was in him.

I love my iPhone.  But, it’s time to let it go.

I have come to loathe AT&T.

Those of you who have AT&T are familiar with the reasons why, and those of you who are not with AT&T should be congratulated on being able to hang on to your innocence for this long.

I will not rant on my blog about how completely uncompetitive the rates are, how I was essentially punished for purchasing an iPhone back before 3G and 3Gs, (I realize Apple is more the culprit here than AT&T), how AT&T pretends like it can’t get me a better deal on my plan because Apple won’t let them or how the service is so crappy that my phone doesn’t work in my own house even though I have called them several times to let them know and they have told me for the past five years that they are “working on it.”

I will simply take my business elsewhere to a company that will provide me with a competitive plan and with service in my area.  Like, I don’t know, Verizon.

Dear Internet, meet my new phone.

AT&T?  Can you hear me now?

Anyone else out there using the new Android?  Did you used to have an iPhone?  Care to share your thoughts about the difference?

For the past two years, I’ve only read a handful of new books.  For some reason, I just kept reading books that I had already read, over and over again.

I think it might have played out this way because I, for one reason or another, felt that my life was getting increasingly chaotic.  Reading the same books comforted me.  In life, I’m not sure what’s going to happen next, but I know that in the last third of Mistry’s A Fine Balance, I’m going to start shaking my head at the mess that is humankind.  Or that somewhere in the last fifty pages of the The Deathly Hallows, I’m going to weep like a runner up for prom queen.

The point is, last week, I put an end to all this.  I decided it’s time to read new books by authors I’ve never considered, in genres that, until now, I’ve either ignored or rolled my eyes at.  Because predictability, while comforting, does not leave a whole lot of room for expansion of the mind, soul or wit.

Recent post pregnancy weight aside, I’m feeling the need to be expansive these days.

So, I went crazy and bought a slew of books and have neatly placed them in a stack on my nightstand.  A reminder, if you will, about my renewed commitment to live outside of my comfort zone.

I was about seven or eight when I got my first library card.  I remember the excitement, the expectation, and the inevitable joy of finding new treasures of wisdom, laughter or tears in each book I brought home.  I feel like that again when I look at the stack.

Here’s an excerpt from what I read today:

He tapped irritably at a control panel.  Trillian quietly moved his hand before he tapped anything important.  Whatever Zaphod’s qualities might include — dash, bravado, conceit — he was mechanically inept.  He could easily blow up the ship with an extravagant gesture.  Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason he had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did. (62)

I sort of love that last line.  Can you guess what I’m reading?  It shouldn’t be too hard since they made a movie based on it just a few years ago.  Have you read this book?  What did you think of it?

Also, I read very, very fast, so that stack of four or five books is going to be gone in about a week or two.  In the past, I’ve limited myself to classical works, literary fiction, memoirs, personal/spiritual development, history, “ethnic” literature, some young adult and Harry Potter.

I’m trying out other genres, what might you suggest?