You have to have goals, they say. They, the architects of convenient platitudes that become false measures of our self worth.

There is something, however, that they forget to tell us, or perhaps that they don’t even know.

The end result, the goal, is just one part of the equation.

This simple truth resides in almost everyone’s awareness.

Yeah, yeah, life is a journey, not a destination. I get it.

But many people don’t.

They treat this truth the way they treat compliments.

Tell someone that, for example, they are beautiful or smart or kind or talented, and nine times out of ten you’ll get a thanks that sounds more like a brush off.  When someone gives me that brush off “thank you,” I realize something about them.

Somewhere deep inside, regardless of how confident they appear, this person believes that sadness, rejection and loss are the only real truths. They believe that when I point out that they are beautiful, smart, kind and talented that it’s only because they have me fooled. Furthermore, they want to believe that the people who diminish and deride them are the one’s who know the real truth.

They know the truth that we should all love ourselves, yet they cannot live it.

But I digress. I was talking about achievement and goals.

We know the truth that this goal or the next one we set does not define us. It cannot. Because most often, when we reach one goal, we are already setting our sights upon the next.

Know that the essence of who you are is not so fleeting. It is more permanent than that.

We tell ourselves that it’s about the journey and then we cry metaphorical or real tears of frustration when we don’t make it to the destination within the time frame or in the exact way that we envisioned.

This is our human condition. We know the truth, but we forget to live it.

We must grow in worthiness before we realize our desires. We must embrace the state of becoming that is required of us before we arrive at the destination we’ve selected.

Growth is often painful and terribly unpleasant, but necessary.

If you were who you needed to be in order to have what you want, you would already have what you want.

That’s so important, I’m going to write it again.

If you were who you needed to be in order to have what you want, you would already have what you want.

Don’t forget that it’s not where you’re going that makes you who you are, it’s the getting there that does.

Don’t you give up.

Don’t you stop trying.

Become.

Oh, no, I think I have the flu.

See you after I get plenty of rest, fluids and sympathy from a husband who is OUT OF TOWN.

Do you think a four year old can make soup?