You have to have goals, they say. They, the architects of convenient platitudes that become false measures of our self worth.

There is something, however, that they forget to tell us, or perhaps that they don’t even know.

The end result, the goal, is just one part of the equation.

This simple truth resides in almost everyone’s awareness.

Yeah, yeah, life is a journey, not a destination. I get it.

But many people don’t.

They treat this truth the way they treat compliments.

Tell someone that, for example, they are beautiful or smart or kind or talented, and nine times out of ten you’ll get a thanks that sounds more like a brush off.  When someone gives me that brush off “thank you,” I realize something about them.

Somewhere deep inside, regardless of how confident they appear, this person believes that sadness, rejection and loss are the only real truths. They believe that when I point out that they are beautiful, smart, kind and talented that it’s only because they have me fooled. Furthermore, they want to believe that the people who diminish and deride them are the one’s who know the real truth.

They know the truth that we should all love ourselves, yet they cannot live it.

But I digress. I was talking about achievement and goals.

We know the truth that this goal or the next one we set does not define us. It cannot. Because most often, when we reach one goal, we are already setting our sights upon the next.

Know that the essence of who you are is not so fleeting. It is more permanent than that.

We tell ourselves that it’s about the journey and then we cry metaphorical or real tears of frustration when we don’t make it to the destination within the time frame or in the exact way that we envisioned.

This is our human condition. We know the truth, but we forget to live it.

We must grow in worthiness before we realize our desires. We must embrace the state of becoming that is required of us before we arrive at the destination we’ve selected.

Growth is often painful and terribly unpleasant, but necessary.

If you were who you needed to be in order to have what you want, you would already have what you want.

That’s so important, I’m going to write it again.

If you were who you needed to be in order to have what you want, you would already have what you want.

Don’t forget that it’s not where you’re going that makes you who you are, it’s the getting there that does.

Don’t you give up.

Don’t you stop trying.

Become.

Oh, no, I think I have the flu.

See you after I get plenty of rest, fluids and sympathy from a husband who is OUT OF TOWN.

Do you think a four year old can make soup?

First.  I have not posted photos of Y. on this site.  Wildly overdue.

Second. Today is Adam‘s birthday and I feel compelled to dedicate a little post to him.

Third. I got one of those flip camera things for my birthday and need to start experimenting with iMovie.

So, there’s supposed to be a video embedded in this post. Please leave me a comment… without making me feel stupid… and let me know if you can’t view it. If you’re reading this on Facebook, you’re not going to see it here. You’ll have to go to the original site.

It’s not The Godfather, but it’s a start.  Maybe Godfather III?

You know. I was going to write a really good post about the current state of healthcare legislation. I was planning on being informative and eloquent.

And then I saw this and completely lost my train of thought.

Saturday morning cartoons. When I was a kid, it was the nectar of geniuses. Or ambrosia. Or something like that.

Anyway, I want to know why they left out the part where Massachusetts gets a Republican senator and the Democrats don’t think the bill is good enough to pass before he gets seated.

I guess school bus stop signs engendered more of a feeling of consensus back in the 80s.

The most difficult thing about all of this is having to sit back and watch the politicians do their thing. Which is annoy the hell out of us.

P.S. I don’t think the bill is good enough to pass before he gets seated, either. Just FYI.

Is an Internet life a substitute for a “real” life?

I find the need to make a distinction between the two very interesting.  And by “very interesting,” I mean, “misguided.”

When people try to make this distinction, in my opinion, they sound like dinosaurs.  The distinction between online and offline is a very fine one, and I would argue that it’s dissipating rather rapidly.

Personally, I don’t differentiate between “online” friends and “real” friends.  Or “the Internet” and “in real life.”

Who I am online is who I am in real life.  I use my real name.

Unless you’re a stalker, then, umm, I totally made this name up.

I’m fairly reserved when it comes to personal details. I don’t reveal everything about myself on my blog, this is true.  However, I don’t reveal everything about myself offline either.  So, this blog is me.  It is real.  I’m also smart enough to know that people cherry pick what they share online and sometimes that’s not an entirely accurate representation of who they are.

But.

Since when did people not do that offline?  As a person who does not judge people on their physical appearance (I mean, you have to be clean), the fact that I can’t see someone doesn’t indicate that they aren’t real to me.

Yeah, yeah, I call my friends on the phone all the time.  But, the thing about a phone is that it interrupts all sorts of activities.  Today, for example, this is the first time I’ve had a single moment to myself.  It’s 10:45 p.m.,  right now.  My friends, who are all functioning adults, would ask me who had just died if I called them, right now.  OK, most of them.  The ones from the Internet wouldn’t bat an eyelid.

An e-mail, blog post, or twitter/FB update, though?  These are done at one’s leisure.  At a time when someone has a few minutes to sit down and really think about what they want to say.  The receiver(s) of this information are also able to process that information at their leisure.  I think that’s a welcome break from the “talk to me now talk to me now” paradigm.

Look.  I know that ::hug:: is not a substitute for a real hug.  Or that LOL is not a substitute for a real laugh.

At the same time, I know that the connections that I have made with people online are real in every sense of the word.  We are here for each other, we discuss our pain and happiness with one another, and we, sometimes, have unpleasant words with each other.

Human beings have always been dysfunctional.

I offer that the Internet is merely another possible vehicle for the expression of our dysfunctional tendencies.  Blaming the Internet for people’s lack of human connection is like blaming a cell phone for the guy who is yapping at the top of his lungs at the table over from you in a nice restaurant.  Believe me, if cell phones were never invented, that guy would have found another way to irritate the people around him.

Because he’s clueless and insensitive.  The cell phone didn’t make him that way.  He was already like that.

The dinosaurs want to blame the Internet, but, really, accountability lies with individual.  As it always has and always should.