37 Weeks and Counting: A Bullet Post
- I was going to write a post about how I’m taking a break from blogging, but I’ve decided not to take a break. I’m just not willing to give this up even for a few weeks because, to me, my blog is my own personal space. You know, the “room of one’s own” of which Virginia Woolf spoke. (Finally, after 18 months, I’ve managed to work Virginia Woolf into a blog post. It’s all downhill from here, people.)
- My 19 year old cousin is staying with us, and she’s been an enormous help in every way. Still, she makes me feel like… a “square,” sometimes. Just the fact that I used the word “square” should illustrate how much of a “square” she makes me feel/act like. When did I become a grown up?!
- My darling friends, Mr. Britt, Miss Britt, Adam, Hilly, Clown and Carolina came over on Friday night to watch Om Shanti Om. We had a great time, they were just disrespectful enough to Bollywood culture to be funny, but not so much that I had to throw them out of the house. A fun time was had by all. Except Adam who came up with exactly 4,321,972 different variations of the phrase, “Why can’t Indian movies be more like American movies?”
- My SIL’s baby shower is on Saturday at my place. We’re doing a Victorian theme complete with full tea service. I just hope I don’t ruin the shower by going into labor. And, just so you know, SIL tried her best to discourage me from having it at all, but I told her I’d kill her if she asked me one more time not to throw her a baby shower. And she believed me. I’m not sure if she realized I meant “kill” in the metaphorical sense.
- Also? I’ve surmised that Victorian tea is the direct result of the turn of the century British not allowing women to vote or own property. As a result, Victorian women had no outlet for constructive behavior and were forced to concoct crazy rules like, “It is entirely inappropriate and quite common to slice a scone in its entirety.” Furthermore, I am highly disturbed by how incredibly appealing I find the the prospect of enforcing these rules upon other people. By the way, that thing about scones? Totally true. I could not make up something like that even if I tried.
- If you’re going to BlogHer, I hate you. I hate you for getting to go to Chicago. I hate you for getting to learn all the little things you’re going to learn about blogging and writing. Mostly, though, I hate that you’re going to get to go to dinner and hang out with my friends (yes, I do own you, didn’t you know?), and meet her, and her, and her and her and possibly him and be completely scarred for life by him. I hate that you’re going to be obnoxious and twitter about it all day. I hate the stupid updates that your going to plaster all over my Facebook account. I hate that you’re going to get yelled at on the flight over for being obnoxiously loud and I will miss yet another opportunity to kick the back of the seat of the yeller in a well intentioned, yet highly passive aggressive bid to avenge you.
- I realized that I’m pretty much done preparing for the arrival of this baby. I thought I was behind, but it occurred to me this morning that I actually had less to do than I imagined. I was way too prepared for N.’s arrival. We bought way too much stuff and made way too many plans. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that every kid is different and that we should wait and gauge the temperament of this child before assuming that he will happily sleep in his own room within two months of being born.
- I feel so huge right now that it takes every ounce of what are the remnants of my self esteem about my body to keep from crying myself to sleep every night. I literally despise looking in the mirror. And? Of course, I think pregnant woman are beautiful because, helllo, they’ll take my rabid feminist card away if I don’t. I just don’t feel like I look very beautiful. My skin is all ashy, my face is puffy (read fat) and I can’t even bear to look anywhere below my neck. Every time someone takes a photo of me, I want to burn their camera.
72 Responses to 37 Weeks and Counting: A Bullet Post
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Well. I’m glad you won’t be hating me because I am not going to Blogher. I never have.
Also, once you’re past the age of about 23, I think you are automatically a square. Sorry.
I hope your remaining pregnancy time is as comfortable for you as possible!
@Jason, Oh, I don’t really “hate” the people that are going. I just am very, very, very envious to the point of feeling negatively towards them. Kidding.
You’re a beautiful woman, pregnant or not. And what were you thinking, taking a break from blogging? What the fuck’s up with that?
@Avitable, So, since I didn’t write out “douchebaggery” in yesterday’s reply your going to start using f-bombs in my comment section. Douchebag.
And, awww, thanks, you’re so sweet.
@Faiqa, I’m pretty sure I’ve used plenty of profanity before. And I’m such a sweet guy that I’m not even going to mention the your/you’re thing going on up there.
@Avitable, Apparently, I replied to myself instead of you. That should give you even MORE fuel for the bout of self righteousness you’re already feeling.
@Faiqa, DAMN IT. You know, I only do that when I’m writing to YOU. I like to look at it as though I’m helping you to exercise humility by giving you the opportunity not to act like a pretentious ass that goes around correcting everyone’s grammar. Clearly, we have a long way to go.
@Faiqa, look at you – trying to make me a better person. And I’m being nice about it because you have a small boy in your stomach sucking out your brain, so I can’t expect you to achieve the levels of brilliance that you usually do.
Virginia Woolf?
As Denis Leary might say “Pull this bus over onto the side of Pretentious Turnpike. I’m getting off!”
(Just kidding. You’ll never get rid of me. I’m like herpes. You’ll just have to learn to live WITH me.)
@B.E. Earl, Pretentious turnpike? Don’t you know by know that I live in the Republic of Pretentia?
@Faiqa, Just make sure I have a valid visa to the Republic. I will certainly bow to the most wondrous Faiqa! Or smirk at her real hard.
@B.E. Earl, Who else noticed that I wrote “know by know”? This baby might be super smart given that he’s sucking out 90% of my brain. And aww, Earl, you’re welcome to smirk at me any time.
@Faiqa, I had no idea about the “know by know” thingie.
But I’m mostly stupid most of the time. ::smirk::
Oddly enough, Jared was just telling me last night how gorgeous you looked on Friday and that you definitely had hit the “glow” stage.
No shit.
And yes, my love, you absolutely own us. Both of us.
@Miss Britt, God, I love that Jared of yours.
That scone thing makes total sense to me. It’s like when people spread butter on the whole piece of bread. It’s like fingernails on a chalkboard for me. One just does not do that.
@Kailyn, No, one does not. I like using “one” a lot, too.
@Faiqa, You know what else is good? Use of the royal we.
I’m not going to BlogHer! If you are up to it and not having your baby, we could eat lunch together. Or…I could come over and help you do things to prepare for the baby. Yanno, anything to be near to my Teen Dream.
Also, that Bollywood night at your house was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Thank you (and Tariq) again for having me.
@Hilly, I’m so glad you had a good time. I’ll e-mail you about getting together. I don’t want to upset the rest of my Teen Dream fan club by showing you too much preference in public. (Although, yeah, you’re a preferred member.) Heh.
Om Shanti Om was a fantastic film.
@adnan., It’s one of my favorites.
I am not going to BlogHer either!
But I am going out of state.
Really I don’t know where I was going with any of that.
(Psst..you are still hot. You know how I know? Because I said so.)
@Sarah, Thanks, I *am* hot. As in, “Oh my God, it’s a 100 degrees, is the AC on? It is sooo hot in here.”
So does this mean we get a live blogged birth? Because that would be awesome (and disturbing).
Also? No BlogHer for me. I had a ticket and everything, but when I did the math and realized it was so close to your due date and that you wouldn’t be there, I bailed. It just isn’t worth it without you.
@SciFi Dad, Yeah, I’ll twitter the whole thing. No, no I won’t. And YEAH, it’s not worth it without me. That’s what *real* friends would have said.
Sending good thoughts!
@nancy, Thanks! I’m almost there… BTW, the name we chose is “Yousuf Tariq”. (I remember that you asked me that, right?)
We’re having issues with how to spell it. Tariq likes “Yousuf.” I like “Yusef.” You’re the phD… you decide. And, remember, you’re MY friend.
@Faiqa, What a beautiful name! Of course, I’ve got your back, although I have that love for “ou” in a lot of words….but it’s a little too British Empire, in the end.
Yusef is great because it’s more accurate as a transliteration.
as a woman who never has had and never will have a baby, i can most certainly and confidently tell you that you are gorgeous. there truly is not much that is more beautiful than a woman nurturing life. so shut the fuck about about the fat thing or i will come sit on you and show you what fat is!
love,
becky
@hello haha narf, Thank you, my love.
Apparently my Bollywood Night invite was lost in the mail. It’s OK; it had a long way to go.
I’m jealous of all the BlogHer attendees too. I hope it makes you feel better that you won’t be seething alone.
And I’m sorry you feel icky (it’s a techinical term). I remember that feeling and it sucks. ((hugs))
@Finn, Um, “technical.” That’s how you spell it.
@Finn, You are always invited. Always. And I like techinical. It goes with the trend I started in my comment to Adam.
Well, I’m going third class and I probably won’t even see your awesome friends while there. Unless I rescue one of them when they try to jump off the back of the ship….then maybe they’ll invite me to dinner or something
P.S. I’m glad that your pregnancy is almost done with and I hope that you are able to maintain some level of comfort these last few weeks.
When I was pregnant with Travis, I had yucky Preggo Nose because my face was puffy. It was gross. I didn’t make it that far with Annabeth and that kinda made me happy in a twisted way.
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Preggo nose? That sucks. I can’t believe people didn’t get up for you when you were pregnant. That makes me feel so… homicidal.
OK. Here’s the thing. I learned last month at ConFab that I’m really not a Twitterer/Facebooker when I’m at a blog meet-up. I finally pulled out my iPhone because everyone else had theirs and I was beginning to feel weird without mine. So, you probably aren’t going to see very many tweets/Facebook updates from me while I’m at BlogHer. I’m old-fashioned that way.
But? I’m going to be at Avitaween. And we’re going to hang. And I can’t wait to meet you then!
@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, Oh, and? You’ll get that body back soon enough. Until then? Still beautiful, I’m sure!
You are gorgeous in any way, shape or form, PLUS I saw a picture of you from the Bollywood night (which I am intensely jealous of) and you look fantastic. Period. (And spaking of periods, I have mine NOW so you know I am being honest because my menstruality deems it so. )
I am not going to BlogHer; only because YOU can’t go. I am loyal!
Oh wait – and are you serving crumpets? Plus, make sure you have some edible violets for your guests, like on top of cupcakes. The Victorians loved their edible flowers.
I just made that up. But *I* love edible flowers.
@Sybil Law, I think they should be candied violets.
@Sybil Law, Actually, one of the research sites *did* suggest violets as a centerpiece. So, you kind of didn’t make that up.
@Faiqa, Huh! Maybe I’ve read that somewhere?
Anyway – are you gonna serve them?!
I’m not going to BlogHer. We can Tweet each other and block all those other annoying Twitterers. Er, did I say that out loud?
I bet you’re beautiful. I don’t think you could be anything less.
@Shelli, Aww, thanks. We are following each other on twitter, right?
@Faiqa, I don’t think so. Are you Faiqa on there, too?
@Shelli, Yes! Clever, huh?
@Faiqa, I’m following you now!
Yay for babies! I love the name Yusuf, it lends itself to so many cute nicknames. Yusie. Yuso. Yu-yu. Sufi. Sofa. Yogurt. Yodel.
Wait. I may have gotten off track with that last one. Or two.
Anyway – yay babies!
@TheGoriWife, Wow. I was just commenting on your blog when I saw that you commented on mine. I love it when stuff like that happens.
I gained 7 lbs this weekend. How’s that for empathy?
@Poppy, It’s water weight. Don’t worry, you look fabulous.
@Faiqa, Hehehehehehe!!!! That’s awesome. At least I didn’t say it to you.
“I hate the stupid updates that your going to plaster all over my Facebook account”
I found a spelling/grammatical mistake in one of your posts!! I feel like I should get a prize or something (A kick in the groin, no matter how satisfying it would be for you to give me, does not qualify as a prize).
You can exact your revenge, however. If you go into labor during BlogHer, you will instantly be the most popular blogger not in attendance. Everyone will be so distracted from following your posts that they won’t be paying attention to anyone in the room with them! You can exact a coup d’état on BlogHer [i]remotely[/i]!!
remotely!
D’oh!
@RebTurtle, Hahahaha… see, that’s what you get for being all judgey about my grammar.
@Faiqa, “judgey?”
Well now you’re just trying to make my head explode! You’ve been learning from Adam, haven’t you? That’s okay, I still think you’re the coolest thing since Pop Rocks & Coke.
i tell earl that “hes not fat, hes just pregnant”, pretty much every day.
@Slyde, I presume that this is after you bring him ice cream at 3a.m. and hold him while he weeps?
I’m not going to BlogHer either, because I am way too broke for fancy plane tickets to Chicago. Sad, but true. I always miss out on the good stuff.
Buuut… I have a favor to ask you.
Everyone’s been blogging about you feeding them Indian food, and I have been DYING for some. But I have no idea where to go around here. (Read: my city is full of Hispanic mini-marts, Hispanic restaurants, and Italian restaurants. Not that anything is wrong with that, but where is the variation? I demand to know!) So… Maybe, on a day when you’re bored out of your mind and have nothing better to blog about, you could perhaps post a recipe that even the most challenged white person could duplicate? So I could maybe wow myself with my awesome Indian-food-making skills?
Thank you, and for the record YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
@Elizabeth Kaylene, I’ll definitely post some recipes when I get the time. Better yet, you should just come to Avitaween in October and I’ll make dinner for you.
@Faiqa,
should i be sad that i didn’t get the dinner invite?
@hello haha narf, Or should *I* be exasperated that you feel that you NEED an invite?!
@Faiqa,
happy becky!
(although i am coming down early and think you should let me stay with the kids while you and your gorgeous hubby go out for a night.)
You’re pregnant!
That wasn’t a “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant” comment, just the fact that I haven’t been around lately and missed that you were with child.
BlogHer would be interesting, not just in meeting some cool peeps whose blogs I read, but I could learn something too.
@Mik, Yeah, I am pregnant & just 2-3 weeks away from NOT being pregnant, anymore!
I’m not going to BlogHer because I’m putting a 21 year old through college.
Want to feel like a fossil? Have a 21 year old woman be your youngest child!
That means I haven’t been pregnant since 1988.
So, I know we’ve never met, but here’s my concern about your baby’s name. I’m afraid his name will be Yousuf and when he goes to school the mean kids will change the last letter to a “k”.
That would be awful because Yusef is an awesome name.
@Little Miss Sunshine State, Heh. I considered the “You Suck” thing. But, hello, I went to elementary school with the name FAIQA. You can imaging the heat I took.
One of the major factors we considered in our name is that we wouldn’t pick a name just because it would be easier to pronounce or spell or whatever by non-Arabic/Urdu/Hindi speaking people. I know it sounds dramatic and maybe even callous, but our kids will be expected to be strong about asserting their heritage and cultural identity from the beginning. Just as we did.
All that said, I may end up using your argument in the fight for “Yusef.” Because, I just like that spelling better.
Oooh we have a customer who’s name is Euseff. LOVE IT. It’s no Yusef… but I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced the same.
I don’t think so
You know what I hate? I hate the fact that Adam and Britt came into town a day early and had dinner with me and then they had the audacity NOT to bring you. I hate that. I hated not meeting you.
Really, I hated meeting them. I don’t like them at all. You? I like.
(Britt and Adam, if you read this then stop taking all those hallucinogens and put down the computer because you are just crazy. Yes. You are. Nutso. Why would I diss you like that?)