I was seven, maybe eight?
I didn’t own cassettes. Genius child that I was, I was into reading, playing outside and begging my parents for cable.
We were sitting in my uncle’s living room in Lahore (Pakistan) and my cousin and I were trying desperately to find something in common with one another. I was there for the summer. We were stuck with each other, after all.
He was a boy. I was a girl. He was Pakistani and I was American. He was 11 and I was 8.
So far, not so good.
His eyes lit up, “Do you like Michael Jackson?”
“Sure,” I said.
He smiled and ran to his room. He entered the room with a battered cassette tape in one hand and a little red boom box in the other. He popped in the cassette. “Billie Jean” blared from the grimy speakers.
We sat and listened and smiled. “What is he saying?” my cousin asked.
“Ummm, he’s saying that Billie Jean isn’t his girlfriend. That she’s just someone he knows. But nobody listens and everyone keeps saying she is.”
“Ohhh,” he said in deep thought. And, then, we both giggled. Because, we were kids and you’re supposed to giggle at that sort of thing. “Do you have this cassette at home, in America?”
“No.”
“What cassettes do you have?”
“I don’t have cassettes.” He raised his eyebrows in a way that clearly indicated that this surprised him. After all, American kids were supposed to have everything, right?
I smiled feeling a little embarrassed at my complete lack of coolness.
“OK, then” he stopped the tape player and carelessly tossed the cassette towards me. “You can have this one, then.”
I held it in my hands and felt a surge of excitement. For some reason, we didn’t have a problem coming up with things to talk about for the rest of the summer.
Later that evening, I sat in the guest room of my uncle’s house and listened to this little piece of America that my Pakistani cousin had given me earlier that day. It was the beginning of something deep. Something that makes me smile every time I hear “Thriller” or “P.Y.T.” When I got back to the States, I listened to the tape with my brother and we memorized all the songs.
After that summer, I scrimped and saved every nickel I got so that I could go out and buy more music like this. No matter how vacuous or how inane pop music became, I couldn’t help myself. I loved and still love pop music. Even in the 90s, when we all wore flannel and contemplated the darkness of the journey between late adolescence and adulthood, nobody changed the station if a good 80s pop song was on.
Pop music. It was an escape. It was lightness in a world that can often be a little too dark. It was joy in a world that could be a little too painful.
It was my piece of American poetry. And it began with a little bit of Michael.
Michael Jackson was undoubtedly a flawed man. Undoubtedly. If the allegations that had been brought up in the past regarding his relationship with children are even remotely true, his musical genius doesn’t excuse that depravity. He was a victim of his own genius and a prisoner of his own fame in a lot of ways.
Regardless, though, in my mind I don’t remember Michael Jackson as the American pop icon or accused pedophile.
To me, Michael Jackson is a cassette tape that someone who started off as a stranger and became a brother handed to me in an act of friendship almost 25 years ago.
He’s the commonality in a conversation that Tariq and I, who grew up on opposite sides of the world, share in our childhoods.
He’s one of those links that, because of his music’s ability to transcend borders and language, binds Americans to everyone else.
He’s our piece of American poetry.
I’d also like to take a moment to acknowledge the death of the lovely Farrah Fawcett who taught those of us born before 1980 the special and unforgettable brand of American beautiful that can be achieved by a large round brush, a hair dryer and massive quantities of hair spray.
24 Comments »
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Kailyn Said,
June 25, 2009 @ 10:59 pm
I’m sure lots of people have so many memories tied to his music.n Thank you for sharing your story.
[Reply]
Jason Said,
June 25, 2009 @ 11:04 pm
Very well said. He really was the background music that we all grew up to. Either the background music, or in many cases, the focus!
It is such a tragedy that the latter part of his life took such a negative turn.
[Reply]
Sybil Law Said,
June 25, 2009 @ 11:43 pm
I haven’t stopped listening to “Off the Wall” and song from “Thriller” all night.
He was awesome.
(Don’t forget Farrah’s nipples in that poster. Million of men never will…)
[Reply]
SciFi Dad Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 7:37 am
Whatever he did later in life doesn’t wash away the impact he had on millions, maybe billions of people in ways similar to yours.
I got Thriller for Christmas the same year my family got its first cassette player. I remember bringing that cassette over to my cousin’s house Christmas Day and listening to that tape over and over.
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 8:12 am
I never really understood his appeal, and I certainly think that what he did later in his life has tarnished his music and legacy permanently. He hasn’t been relevant to the music world for many years, either.
But, good post. When Madonna dies, then I’ll have someone I can have musical memories about.
[Reply]
Karen Sugarpants Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 9:21 am
Beautiful post, Faiqa. In my heart, Michael Jackson died a long time ago. I loved him as a child, but as the mother of boys, I no longer saw the same person later in life. It’s a shame, really.
[Reply]
Paticus Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 9:37 am
Great story.
[Reply]
Becky Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 9:41 am
I remember playing with the kids in my neighborhood and we would sing and dance to Michael Jackson. His music is the background to a lot of my memories.
Watching “Charlie’s Angels” introduced me to Farrah. I remember wanting her hair so badly!
[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 10:04 am
You really do some of the best writing on the Internet.
ANYway -
Michael Jackson was the Thriller album my mom had in the basement of my grandparent’s house, where we lived and spent our nights singing into hairbrushes.
He was Thriller – the music video that captivated my younger brother and I for hours. We watched “the making of the Thriller video” nearly every day one summer.
He was “The Way You Make Me Feel” and the elaborate choreography that my psuedo cousins and I created during the nights when our parents went out together.
[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 10:05 am
and now I’m singing Billie Jean
out loud
at work
[Reply]
Slyde Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 10:12 am
i grew up in the 80′s, and although i was never a real fan of his music, michael jackson was an icon to me. he will be missed..
[Reply]
SteF Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 10:26 am
Truthful & thoughtful. Simply lovely, Faiqa!
[Reply]
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 10:44 am
His music makes me smile.
The man himself makes me cringe and feel more than slightly nauseated.
[Reply]
Finn Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 11:02 am
This is the way I’d like to remember him.
[Reply]
hello haha narf Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 11:07 am
i’m already tired of all the mj bullshit…and my coworker is blaring billie jean. yet i read this and am captivated by your writing as well as your memories.
great piece, faiqa. just terrific.
[Reply]
Twinkie Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 3:08 pm
I remember having a crush on a guy in 8th grade because he dressed like Micheal Jackson. He had the jacket with the zippers and white socks and the white glove and was a pretty good breakdancer. LOL Did the moonwalk damned good too.
Then for a while there was a time when it wasn’t “cool” to like Michael. But everyone still did and just didn’t tell each other about it, I’m sure. I remember thinking, “For someone who doesn’t like Micheal, you sure know all his songs!” hahahah.. In the meantime, my side of the “wall” in the small bedroom I shared with my sister was COVERED in Micheal Jackson posters. I think I even have a picture of me floating around the house in front of all my posters. I’ll have to dig it out.
Michael had a rough childhood as a kid and I think he never quite really “grew up” and was a kid at heart.
And mentally.
He related more with kids than grown people and I think while he was maybe a little innapropriate in his relationships with them (sleepovers, sleeping in the same bed, etc) I can honestly say that I don’t believe he “molested” them. I just don’t think he had enough common sense to realize that was innappropriate behavior for a grown man.
He had the heart and soul of a child which is why he was so easily exploited by those around him ready for a handout and a quick buck.
Even all his legal problems have never been able to take away from his musical legacy. Musicians emmulate him to this day and probably will from years to come.
[Reply]
TheGoriWife Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 3:09 pm
Being the geek that I was in middle school, I didn’t get into MJ until it was about five years too late to be cool. And then I spent and entire summer vacation watching Moonwalker over and over.
[Reply]
Coal Miner's Granddaughter Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 3:24 pm
That’s an amazing story, hon! I remember getting “P.Y.T.” on a 45 rpm record. Yeah. I’m old school, baby. And you’re right, his music did affect people all over the world.
[Reply]
yasmine Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
LOVE the story about your cousin and the cassette-tape in the motherland! =)
and this was my other favorite part of your post:
Even in the 90s, when we all wore flannel and contemplated the darkness of the journey between late adolescence and adulthood, nobody changed the station if a good 80s pop song was on.
ha!
[Reply]
Traci Said,
June 26, 2009 @ 6:03 pm
Well said. The Thriller album and video are certainly the best of the best. They hold a special place in many childhood memories. We are lucky to have grown up in that time.
[Reply]
moosh in indy. Said,
June 28, 2009 @ 12:54 am
My dad bought me the VHS tape of “Smooth Criminal” when I was about 8.
I truly remember it being one of the first ever times I squeed with excitement. He’s who made me want to become a dancer.
[Reply]
Elizabeth Kaylene Said,
June 30, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
Ah, memories… TLC and the Spice Girls did the same thing for me and my cousins. Otherwise, growing up, every time Thriller came on TV I dropped whatever I was doing and watched dancing zombies. It’s still my all-time favorite video. It really is a shame that someone so talented was also so royally messed up. But aren’t they all?
[Reply]
Candi Said,
July 5, 2009 @ 5:46 pm
Lovely post! And lovely comments too!
How strange — I have just come from listening to a pretty chopped up audio tribute from Quincy Jones that used bits of The Way You Make Me Feel (it’s called “He stays out of the box” if your interested) and that is the title of this post!
I’m pretty sure we all connected to each other through his musical gift. Shame the only tribute the TV networks could offer was clips from Thriller – not the way we want to remember Michael! Although the dancing is good, I mean the fact that he is dressed like a corpse. Could be more sensitive next time you pay tribute!
Nice to see the blog-o-sphere filling up with respectful thoughts for the man.
Candi
[Reply]
Native Born » Blog Archive » If Michael Jackson Were Punjabi… Said,
July 13, 2009 @ 10:33 am
[...] I saw this clip from “Britain’s Got Talent” several months ago, maybe even last year. In retrospect, it captures one of the points I was trying to get across in this post. [...]