Like, be a good person.

Say please.

Don’t lie.

Don’t cheat. Unless, there’s a lot at stake.  Like bragging rights until next Thanksgiving.

I’m not much of an advice giver, anymore.  Most of the time, unless someone asks me directly, or unless I see someone is headed for inevitable disaster, I keep my mouth shut.

I think, for me, it’s a matter of how wrong or how much potential peril someone is in before I say something.

Eat a lot of processed foods and drink soda constantly?  Yeah, I’m not saying anything.  I figure that you know that’s bad for you and also that someone has most likely said something to you about it.

If you want my opinion, you’ll let me know.  And, really, I can’t remember the last time someone asked me, “So, what do you think of the fact that I smoke twenty Marlboros, drink a two liter of Pepsi and have four hot dogs for dinner every night?”

We’re all grown ups here.  Or we’re supposed to be, anyway.

Anyway, the problem with this whole outlook and approach is that I have tons of good advice that never gets used because I am so awesome at minding my own business.

I will take your stunned silence to mean that you are in complete agreement with the previous sentiment.

All this minding my business could keep me from saving someone’s life, though.

It’s, like, morally wrong for me not to share this stuff.  Plus, I’m going to blow up one day if I don’t get this off of my chest.

So, here.

* Always get your prescription medications filled at the same pharmacy.  This is especially important if you are seeing several doctors and each of them are prescribing different medications.

* Do not leave your purse, cell phone, GPS, wallet, or anything that looks like it costs more than ten dollars in plain view when leaving your car.  Put these items in your center console, glove box or, the best option, take it out of your car and lock it in your trunk

* Please stop texting while driving, and don’t talk without an earpiece, and don’t try to dial someone’s number or basically do anything except for keep your eyes on the road.  Whoever you are communicating with can wait.  If they cannot wait, then pull over.  People don’t understand that when they misuse a cell phone like this, they aren’t just gambling with their own lives.  They are gambling with everyone elses life, too.  That’s just… incredibly arrogant and thoughtless.  We are better than that.

* If you’re at home alone in the middle of the day, don’t open the door completely if someone rings your doorbell.  Open it just enough not to seem like a crazy recluse, but keep it closed enough so that the full weight of at least one of your legs is against the back of the door. Yes, even if you’re a man.

* If you see a piece of broken glass, an errant garden hose, or some sharp object in a place that gets a lot of foot traffic, please pick it up and throw it away.  Or at the very least, kick it with your foot to a place where it’s no longer underfoot.  Each of us becoming the kind of person who does this is the key to world peace.  That, along with free weekly massages for everyone.

Annnd, you’re welcome.