- For some reason, I feel like the most disinterested pregnant woman on the planet. I just don’t feel like writing about having a baby. And, for better or worse, my mentality is as follows, “What?! There are a bajillion babies born a minute, is something special going on here?” Of course, the creation and development of this child is special to me, but I’m just not excited enough to get detailed about how I’m feeling, what the baby is doing and blah, blah, blah. If you are pregnant, however, I love hearing about your pregnancy. I just don’t feel like talking about mine. It bores me.
- People are bugging me for photos. For what it’s worth, I hate having my picture taken these days. I understand that I’m expecting and that my figure is supposed to change, but I feel fat. As politically incorrect as that may sound, I feel fat and I don’t want fat pictures of me on the Internet. So, some of you can expect some in your e-mail. Everyone else will just have to use their imagination or fly to Florida and hang out with me sometime before August 2.
- I have floating ribs. Now, I’m not sure I know what that means exactly, but I know it hurts, a lot. Basically, my left ribs are being pushed up and out as my baby grows. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the ribs and twisting the knife they used. I’m supposed to tape up my ribs to ease that pressure, but that’s just not working. The more it hurts, the more I hate my doctor for not fixing it.
- People are starting to assume that I’m hormonal, so that’s why I’m being bitchy. Look. I am an extraordinarily diplomatic and lovely woman who is highly tolerant of people’s crap. When I’m pregnant, though, I lose the ability to tolerate crap. If I have been mean to someone in the past seven months, or will be mean to someone in the next two, it’s not because I’m hormonal. It’s because they deserve it and, normally, I’ve just let them get away with it. For individuals wanting to avoid conflict with me, I suggest trying not to act like a moron for the next two months. Then we can go back to pretending that you’re fine just the way you are.
- N. is really excited. I mean, really excited. This says to me that she has no idea what she’s in for. I can personally vouch for the fact that the early years of being a big sister are not super fun. Perhaps I should start teaching her the key phrases she’ll need until she’s about 18: “Get out of my room, get off the phone, I need the bathroom, tell mom and I’ll kill you, you can have the remote, but then you have to be my slave for the next hour…Uh, no, that’s not my brother, I don’t know who that is…”
- I’m slowly trying to catch up on commenting and reading everyone’s blog. I would never presume to tell anyone how to present their blog, but I have to tell you that if your blog shows up as a partial feed in my reader, I’m simply not able to get to it. I know that sounds awful, but I just don’t have the time to click through to read the whole thing. It disrupts my rhythm, if you will.
- My mother in law is the most lovely human being on the planet. She has cooked, cleaned and taken of care of N. just as well, if not better, than I could. I’m thinking of running away with the circus, as I’m not really needed here, anymore. But, really, I’m going to sneak into her room one night and check for batteries because I don’t think any real human being can be that sincere, loving, patient, energetic, selfless and happy all the time.
47 Comments »
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Avitable Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 3:28 pm
That fourth bullet is awesome. This is why I love you!
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:50 am
@Avitable, I thought you’d like that. Inspired by Adam, written by Faiqa.
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HoosierGirl Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 5:39 pm
My favorite comment was “Oh my you DO have a ways to go, don’t you?” No pregnant woman wants to be reminded that she’s going to be that way any longer. And after I had 2 kids, in the 3rd and 4th pregnancy, it was “You’re having ANOTHER one?” Uh…duh….yeah. If the stomach is big on me, it ain’t beer.
Hang in there. You absolutely do NOT have to post pregnancy pics, although I bet you still look great.
J.
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:51 am
@HoosierGirl, People’s brain just seems to turn off when they see a pregnant woman, huh? Thanks, hon, for the moral support.
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Shelli Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 5:42 pm
Wow! I couldn’t even tell you were pregnant.
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:52 am
@Shelli, I LOVE YOU. BEST COMMENT ON MY BLOG EVER.
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Sybil Law Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
You are perfect just the way you are…
Really!
(I am the OPPOSITE of pregnant right now and comPLETELY hormonal and bitchy. Proud of it, too.
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Sybil Law Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
Whoops… meant to add more…
But YOU are so awesome and beautiful, regardless of how you feel, I know you look great. So there!
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:52 am
@Sybil Law, Thank you. Keep telling me that.
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Tami Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 7:16 pm
Girl, you look fabulous!!!! It’s been too long…
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:53 am
@Tami, It has– miss you!!
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Jason Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:01 pm
You’re right! I don’t recall even reading that you’re pregnant. So either you really don’t talk about it much or I’m a terrible blog friend.
Your mother in law? Treasure her every second! (It sounds like you do.)
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:53 am
@Jason, No, you’re not a terrible blog friend, I think I might have announced it and then when we found out it was a boy, I announced that. Other than that, I’ve mentioned it in passing, at best.
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Becky Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:09 pm
I am extremely jealous of the relationship you have with your mother-in-law. My MIL and I are tolerant of each other. That’s it. And I really hate that.
My 2 children are 10 years apart. My daughter would excel at teaching your daughter how to be the horrible, provoking big-sister. Plus, she is a master whiner….a great trait in an older sibling.
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:56 am
@Becky, It took a while for my MIL and I to get where we are. It wasn’t always that way. But, I don’t think we ever just “tolerated” each other, thankfully. It’s a total luck thing, though, as far as I’m concerned…
[Reply]
Nikki Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:17 pm
I’m due two weeks after you and I’m guessing you get my favorite comment all the time: “It’s going to be SO hot in August!”. If you have a spare bullet, let me know. The next person that asks if I’m “due any minute” or “carrying twins” is getting one.
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:56 am
@Nikki, “Carrying twins”??? Oh. Hell. No.
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NYCWD Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:19 pm
You have floaters? Ugh. That’s hugely uncool… especially when you’re preggers.
Try not to pop a lung.
And add me to the e-mail list to photos since you’re being such a photo pooper!
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:57 am
@NYCWD, POP A LUNG?!! WTF does that mean?!!
[Reply]
Sarcastica Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:31 pm
You have every right to be bitchy with that rib thing going on, that bites balls
I didn’t mean to put pressure on you for pictures, I’m just curious – I bet you look hawt 
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not being totally excited about your own pregnancy, I think I was just so excited because it was my first & my family was less than excited and I didn’t want him thinking he wasn’t welcome lol but I’m weird like that
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 9:59 am
@Sarcastica, Of course, like I said, I loved reading about your pregnancy and your excitement, so you were def. not weird for blogging about it. Plus, I was that excited the first time around, too. If I had been blogging, I’m SURE I would have written about it every day. As for pressuring me, pls don’t say sorry, it actually made me feel really special. <3
[Reply]
SciFi Dad Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 8:40 pm
Personally, I think you’re reluctance to share an image or a complete paragraph is completely rooted in hormones.
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:00 am
@SciFi Dad, Sigh. REEEEAL FUNNY, Mister.
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Kimberly Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 9:31 pm
I’m personally glad it bores you…for someone who doesn’t have kids I tire of reading blow-by-blow accounts of pregnancies. Your posts are far more interesting. Not to say I wouldn’t read your pregnancy posts, but still, it’s refreshing.
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:01 am
@Kimberly, I understand. Trust me. If it bores me to talk about it, I can only imagine how it must feel to hear about it.
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Stef Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 9:32 pm
I love reading your blog! I agree with Avitable 100% 4th bullet f-ing ROX! I think it’s friggin’ hilarious that once you reach a certain point of pregnancy that all bets are off in the Little Miss I Give Shit department…. You begin to look at people differently & wish they’d do nothing more than SHUT UP! Beyond bullet 4, pregnancy isn’t as special after you’ve been there before so no worries about not wanting to share & as for your daughter, good luck honey! The bigger sibling doesn’t always stay bigger… my 2 1/2 yr old is already kickin’ his 5 1/2 yr old brother’s arse daily! Luv you! Can’t wait to hear more “hormonal” rants!
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Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:01 am
@Stef, I’m starting to feel especially proud of that fourth bullet point all of a sudden.
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Elizabeth Kaylene Said,
May 31, 2009 @ 11:28 pm
You go ahead and be pregnant however you want! There’s no rule that says you have to be nice, read everyone’s blogs, post pictures, or write about every single detail.
But you KNOW you’re posting baby pictures as soon as August rolls around!
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am
@Elizabeth Kaylene, Definitely going to post pictures in August, don’t worry!
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Sarah Said,
June 1, 2009 @ 1:38 am
So is this my invitation to come see you in Florida?
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am
@Sarah, You needed an invitation??
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nancy Said,
June 1, 2009 @ 5:56 am
Having never been pregnant and never really wanted to be, I’d like to thank you for your lack of “it’s all about me and my pregnancy, bitches!” mentality. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU, FAIQA!
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:03 am
@nancy, Hahaha… You’re welcome. But, I am sort of “It’s all about me and my *life*, bitches!!” on here, aren’t I?
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Miss Britt Said,
June 1, 2009 @ 8:59 am
Grandparents operate within the knowledge that there is always an end in sight.
And I’m so tickled to hear that N. is excited. Emma was soooo excited to pick out a present for “her friend’s new brother” this weekend!
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:04 am
@Miss Britt, Awww, sweet Emma… I hope I get to see her this weekend.
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Sheila (Charm School Reject) Said,
June 1, 2009 @ 9:35 am
So, uh, you know my e-mail address right?
P.S. I hate when people play the hormonal card on a pregnant woman. Uh no – I’d think you were ass regardless of my hormonal state.
P.P.S. I think it’s awesome when kids are old enough to be excited about the arrival of their sibling. You should videotape that so that when she is a teenager and telling him that she wishes he’d never been born, you can show her how she really feels
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:05 am
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), I got your e-mail address. Maybe I’ll send you a custom shot of me in sweat pants or something. Going into Wal Mart. With flip flops on. Snort.
[Reply]
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
June 1st, 2009 at 10:26 am
@Faiqa, You’re seven months pregnant already? Wow. Time flies. [I forgot to put that in my initial comment and didn't realize it til I saw your reply
]
P.S. Don’t hate Faiqa. I think you’ll experience a great peace of mind when I tell you this : it’s getting too hot for sweat pants.
[Reply]
tariq Said,
June 1, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
Faiqa, you are doing great. You look more beautiful as each day goes by. Oh and who says you are hormonal? A pregnant woman, in the middle of the summer, 2 months away from her delivery date, with a hyper husband and an overcharged daughter…nope no hormones here.
Just kidding…Love you.
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
@tariq, And with her in laws visiting. You forgot that part.
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Slyde Said,
June 2, 2009 @ 9:14 am
no problem with the pictures… if it makes it any easier for you, i can just take an old picture of you and PHOTOSHOP you into being pregnant..
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
@Slyde, You wouldn’t…
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Poppy Said,
June 2, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
I love that you don’t go on and on about your pregnancy. Leaves me excited for the times when you do share.
I hope the floating ribs are tolerable and that you sufficiently guilt trip your child until s/he is at least 30 for all the pain s/he caused you while inside of you.
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:59 am
@Poppy, Ahaa, the guilt trip *is* an excellent upside to all this…
[Reply]
martymankins Said,
June 2, 2009 @ 8:55 pm
What happens after August 2nd? will you be posting some new photos?
Oh wait… I know what day that is. Nevermind (said the guy who’s been out of loop here on your blog)
[Reply]
Faiqa Reply:
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@martymankins, Heh. August 2nd is my due date… please, dear God, let it not be even one day later than that!! (And, np, about being out of the loop– I’m SO out of the loop on everything, I’d have no reason to complain.)
[Reply]
whall Said,
June 5, 2009 @ 11:18 am
You’re not THAT fat. yet.
[Reply]