Hate.
Enemy.
Stupid.
Fat.
Lazy.
Wrong.
Freak.
Cracker.
Raghead.
Nigger.
Kike.
Chink.
Dyke.
Fag.
Sinner.
Hell.
Crusade.
Infidel.
Terrorist.
War.
Die.
Evil.
…
Words are not just words.
They have meaning.
They are symbolic.
They do have power.
They embody struggles.
They reflect the choice to love and to hate.
Or the choice between right and wrong.
Or between cruelty and compassion.
Words are not just words.
They are the bridge that your mind crosses when it comes to live in the world.
Use them with care.
Posted by Faiqa on April 9, 2009 10:45 pm • I've Heard Nuclear Holocausts Can Be Pretty Unpleasant • 32 comments
32 Comments »
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Avitable Said,
April 9, 2009 @ 11:02 pm
They only have the power that the other person gives them. And in that way, words are just words.
Some of the words on your list are words that have a subjective meaning, and some have objective meaning. You can’t really use the words “war” or “die” with care, can you?
[Reply]
Kailyn Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 1:01 am
Let me get this straight. If someone says the “n” word, it only has power because I have chosen so? Let’s forget over 200 years of history in this country in other words. Some words have power because of history and not because of an individual. But I guess if you’ve never had it flung at you casually, it’s easy to think that it’s an individual thing.
[Reply]
hello haha narf Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 2:34 am
amen, Amen, AMEN.
so true, my dear faiqa, words are powerful. choose wisely.
(if it matters, and sorta proves your point, just reading that list gave me both an emotional and a physical reaction.)
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 6:18 am
Kailyn, yes. If someone uses a word that bothers you, the only reason it bothers you is because you’ve given it the power to do so. Once you realize it’s just a word and is harmless, it loses the power, no matter how much history is behind it.
[Reply]
NYCWD Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:14 am
Words can be powerful, but they derive their power from both the context in which they are used and from the perspective of the person hearing it.
And yes, Kailyn, I have had the word NIGGA thrown casually at me… and I have thrown it right back… from and to my homies. Your 200 years of history is actually more like 170 years… and that’s beyond the last 30 years.
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:19 am
Racial slavery in America? More like 400 years, man.
[Reply]
nancy Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:29 am
Now I have more proof that history classes are SO NEEDED!
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:32 am
Also? I agree about NYCWD’s point about context and perspective.
But, Adam, your assertion that “words are just words” implies that we don’t have to be held accountable for the damage that these words might do. Your intentions (or context) is not a magic antidote to the perspective of another person.
Yes, we choose whether to give words power, but your expectation that everyone is on your time line in terms of “healing” regarding words such as the ones listed above is wholly insensitive. Do you have a right to use whatever words you like? Sure. But why use them if you know they could potentially hurt someone or cause pain?
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:36 am
I can’t worry about everyone else’s feelings because a word could “potentially” hurt someone or cause pain. That stifles the spirit and freedom of expression.
I have words that I won’t use for personal reasons, but that’s it. All other words are fair game.
[Reply]
Ashlie- Mommycosm Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:21 am
My $0.02.
I believe that words are just words. They can only hurt if you give them the power to do so. And, yes, you have a right to use whatever words you like.
BUT, if you care about other’s feelings, you will choose your words wisely – taking into context your audience.
There’s this wonderful thing called karma – if you choose to hurt others with your words, that negative energy will come back around to you some day.
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:36 am
I agree, Ashlie. That’s why there are words I won’t use. However, you can’t always worry about someone else’s feelings when you’re trying to express yourself, especially if you don’t know what word is going to be offensive to someone. It’s a fine line.
[Reply]
Sybil Law Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:42 am
Perfection, Faiqa. I love it.
[Reply]
NYCWD Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:48 am
@Avitable- There are words you won’t use????
Coming from the guy who uses, “Cunty cunty cunt”, I find that a little hard to believe… so perhaps a hint as to something you wouldn’t let pass your lips/fingertips???
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:49 am
I won’t use racial epithets.
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 8:58 am
Raise your hand if you think this ironic.
[Reply]
NYCWD Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 9:09 am
*Hand Raised*
But it’s not surprising. The truth is racial epithets are generally the easiest way to offend. I can see Avitable looking for the challenge.
[Reply]
Kailyn Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 9:15 am
Ironic is just the word I was thinking.
If you say that there are certain words that you will not use, then there is some sort of power to those words.
And here’s something else I’ll throw out to you — something I used to tell my former students. Let’s say you use a word amongst your friends. In that context you may think that the word is perfectly harmless. But let’s say that someone other than one of your friends directs that same word at you. Would you feel the same way? If not, then I think that you probably should not use the word at all since by using it can give the idea to those outside of your group the idea that it is an acceptable word to say.
I won’t say the majority of the words on that list — not just the n word. Why? Because there is a history of hatred behind those words. I feel that when I use them, I am reiterating that history.
I also recognize that I am not alone in this world. Therefore, I do stop to think about other people at times.
[Reply]
Hilly Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 9:28 am
Well, if I may chime in as someone who gets called “fat” a fucking lot, words do hurt. However, the amount of hurt is dictated by the power that we give those words. We can sit back and take everything so harshly because we’ve been persecuted in one form or another or we can realize ignorance-based fears and try to help change them. No, it should not HAVE to be our jobs to do so but if we don’t at least try, who will?
That being said, I think it is also very important to watch the words coming out of our mouths. For example, I would never say the word “nigger” expecting someone to just get over it cause “it’s just a word”. No way, I would NEVER call someone that because it is hurtful. So yeah, we should never call someone a hateful name because we feel that they should get over it as easily as we do.
Everyone deals differently.
[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 10:44 am
A responsible, effective communicator is aware that perception is just as important as intent and at least CONSIDERS the potential power of a word before using it.
[Reply]
Finn Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 11:30 am
As someone who uses words to make her living, I feel that each and every word has it’s own personality, it’s own feel. I choose words carefully for effect, for how they sound and how they feel. And for the emotions they evoke. Words ARE just words, but like it or not, many words have an emotional component and sometimes that component is so strong that it makes that particular word no longer just a word.
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 11:54 am
It’s not ironic at all. Apparently that’s a word to which each of you should learn the definition.
I said that there are words I choose not to use. The reason behind this is because I feel like they have power, even to me.
And even that is not entirely true. I’ll use words like “nigger”, “raghead”, “kike”, but never to refer to people, ideologies, or groups. But I’m also not going to be afraid of using the actual word in a context that discusses those words.
[Reply]
Kailyn Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 12:20 pm
Ironic was not the best word choice. I think the better choice would be incongruent.
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 12:22 pm
Just because I feel that words only have the power that the recipient gives them doesn’t mean I ignore that words said to me also have power.
[Reply]
B.E. Earl Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
I never use the term lazy unless I am speaking about myself. Same thing with infidel. I’m a lazy infidel.
[Reply]
Shash Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 1:33 pm
You forgot one.
Retarded.
And I know I’m going to catch all kinds of heck for it, too. But that word DOES hurt, IS mean, and makes me cringe everytime I read it or see it.
And yes, I AM biased, thank you for asking.
[Reply]
Kiefer and Emo Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
Word nazi!
[Reply]
Jason Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 3:37 pm
Wow, Faiqua. This is an important message followed by an even more important and thought provoking debate amongst the commenters. I’ve been on pins and needles reading through it all.
[Reply]
Jason Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 3:38 pm
Darn, I spelled your name wrong. I’m sorry. Faiqa.
[Reply]
J... Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
Words are just words. People are what give those words meaning. Reactions, emotions, negative connotations…it is all determined by the audience that is hearing the words being said. If we, as people, stopped allowing those words to be hurtful or bad and stopped using them in hateful ways, they wouldn’t have power. However, since that would require a mass decision to stop being hateful, hurtful and mean, it won’t ever happen and therefore, words will always have power. One should be careful and mindful of their audience when speaking.
[Reply]
SciFi Dad Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 7:30 pm
Words are sounds. Words are arrangements of letters. These statements are both true.
However, “shithead” is very different from “rewtreewoah”.
Words have meaning. They communicate ideas, thoughts, opinions, feelings.
Ideas, thoughts, opinions, feelings can and do hurt.
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
April 10, 2009 @ 10:40 pm
Thank you so much all of you for your comments and for being civil in the way you expressed your opinions. I learned something valuable from each of you.
Even the lazy infidel.
And Jason? Thank you for coming back and spelling my name right. That was really nice and thoughtful.
[Reply]
whall Said,
April 12, 2009 @ 1:07 pm
I usually sit back and learn in these kinds of discussions. I usually have nothing useful to add.
[Reply]