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Stop Beating Your Kids

It finally happened.

I have it on good authority that this past weekend, Adam and Britt finally got in the knock down, drag out, no holds barred iron cage match we’ve all been anticipating for years.  The surprising part is that Adam, despite being the definition of the word “underdog,” actually won.

In Britt’s defense, there were margaritas involved which clouded her usually impeccable judgment regarding when exactly to use her patented Cobra clutch.

Anyway, while Britt recovers, I’ve been asked to fill in on tonight’s episode of Clearly, You’re Retarded in which we will inevitably prove that Adam, clearly, is retarded.

Tonight’s show focuses on how Adam Avitable should have a vasectomy so he doesn’t pollute the planet’s population with the sociopathic scumbags that his horrific parenting theories will inevitably produce the use of spanking as a form of punishment.

Of course, you’ll want to know how I feel.  So, you have to listen.

Tune in tonight at 9p.m. EST. You may even get to hear me use the “F” word.  Profusely.

(Faiqa.  What did you think I meant?)

The show is also available for download at that link.  But, really, who wants to live life after it happens. 

Finally, to ensure that you don’t spend the entire hour complaining about the suckiness of TalkShoe (and distracting others from basking in all the brilliant crap we’re going to be saying), please download the TalkShoe Pro interface before the call.  It’s free.

Be there or get a time out.  Or a spanking.  Depending on who’ll be playing the role of your proverbial daddy.

Posted by Faiqa on February 25, 2009 12:16 pmFor the Love of A Three Year Old...,Seriously. I Have No Clue. About Anything.8 comments  

8 Comments »

  1. NYCWD Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 12:36 pm

    *SIGH*

    I’ll be busy raising hell in real life.

    Which means I’ll be yelling at my iPod tomorrow.

    So when are you going to spank me???

    [Reply]

  2. Avitable Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

    Oh, there’s no doubt. If Britt and I ever actually had a real fight, I’d totally win! Totally.

    [Reply]

  3. Coal Miner's Granddaughter Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 2:57 pm

    OK, first? The Clearly Retarded picture with you? Looking at Adam like he cut one?

    Genius! :)

    I will try my best to make it! Ghost Hunters International may suck me over to the Dark Side…

    [Reply]

  4. Sybil Law Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 4:34 pm

    Well you know I’ll be there – but I want a spanking!
    From you.
    Haha
    :)

    [Reply]

  5. Sheila (Charm School Reject) Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 4:36 pm

    I won’t be there but I’m gonna have to say that “Adam Heath Avitable is mah daddy.”

    [Reply]

  6. Valerie Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 8:51 pm

    We definitely agree he needs a vasectomy. Walk the walk.

    [Reply]

  7. Kimberly Said,

    February 25, 2009 @ 10:53 pm

    Wait, spanking isn’t ok?

    I missed it! I’m going now to download and listen.

    [Reply]

  8. Miss Britt Said,

    February 26, 2009 @ 9:49 am

    This has got to be the best promo for an Internet talk show ever written. LOL

    [Reply]

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