And let us hope with this post that the rabidly partisan, liberal left wing nut job that has become Faiqa will go into hibernation for at least the next four years, if not the next eight.
In honor of this historic election day, I have a startling admission to make. I hope you’re sitting down for this.
I, Faiqa, am a registered Republican.
Oh, yessssss. I am. And here’s how it happened:
Once upon a time, about five years ago, I was walking to class on the UCF campus when a clean cut young man approached me with a clipboard in his hand, “Ma’am, can I have a minute of your time?”
I was twenty minutes early for my class, being the nerd queen that I am, so I said, “Yeah, sure.”
“Well, ma’am, I’ve been collecting signatures for new legislation that would provide stiffer penalties for child molesters. Would you be interested in signing this petition?”
Who doesn’t want stiffer penalties for child molesters? I think that’s something everyone can agree on. So, I agreed.
Now, you have to keep in mind as you read the following that I had never, ever been asked to sign a petition before that day. So, there is some reasonable excuse for the utter stupidity that ensued.
I signed the petition after reading it because I am not a total moron.
“Oh, Ma’am, one more thing, I just need your driver’s license number.”
“Huh? Why do you need that?”
“We need to verify that you’re a voter in order to prove that the signature is legitmate.”
“Oh… O.K.” And this was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Ever. Never give someone your driver’s license number when signing a petition. It is absolutely NOT required.
Three weeks later I received a letter in the mail from the Supervisor of Elections in my county. Hmmm. I wonder what this is?
It was a brand new voter registration card with the party affiliation now reading “REP.” For Republican.
Mr. Clean-Cut-Who-Also-Hates-Child-Molesters had duped over a dozen other morons like myself into handing over their driver’s license numbers along with their signatures and had changed their party affiliations, as well. This was verified by campus security who sent out an e-mail several weeks later. I did not report this incident to the Supervisor of Elections because it was about two weeks before voting day, and I didn’t want my ability to vote to be compromised by this incident.
I’m still not clear on Mr. Clean-Cut’s motives. The primaries were over, so it wasn’t like he was keeping Democrats from voting in their primary. And, for someone like me who was registered as an Independent, it made no difference whatsoever.
I still haven’t changed it. Because, as I said, I’m an Independent and wouldn’t have been able to vote in my state’s primaries, anyway. And now, I suppose I could change it, but why? I like it, it adds to the paradox that is me. It’s my own little private joke about the fallibility of our system, I guess. And about the fallibility of me.
It’s also a reminder of how wrong acting some people are for no good reason whatsoever.
That said, I’m ending this post with a meme RW posted a few days (weeks?) ago:
Who did you vote for and Why?
1996 – Bill Clinton. Do I really have to tell you why? OK, he wasn’t Bob Dole. How’s that for a reason?
2000- George W. Bush. First, because I was an idiot. Second, this was the year that a group of Muslim Americans decided to “block vote” and they picked Dubya as their candidate. Understandably, this was the year that I learned that voting the same as someone else because they are the same religion or ethnicity as you is not only asinine, but very unpatriotic. You’ll be happy to know that from that election onward, I have always been an American first in the voting booth. To my defense, I also had a bad feeling about Joe Lieberman. And, now, we all know why.
2004 – John Kerry: Penance? Penance for being a complete moron in 2000? Let me say, however, that my vote for Kerry was, in fact, a vote against George W. I still think Kerry was probably one of the least inspiring candidates in that election, if not in the history of the United States.
2008 - Barack, baby, Barack, Because, yes we can. Thanks to this meme, I’ve realized that this is the first election in which I have voted where I am actually voting for a politician instead of against one.
So, see, I’m not as monochromatic as some might think when it comes to politics. In fact, some could reasonably argue that I have been, on at least two occasions, completely moronic.
Posted by Faiqa on November 4, 2008 1:03 pm • 'Let Them Eat Cake': Liberal Elite Narrowly Avoids Beheading,My American Life,Seriously. I Have No Clue. About Anything.,Step Aside, I Smell Lightning • 14 comments
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Slyde Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 1:34 pm
i am an undeclared, simply because i can never see myself ever voting along ANY one parties lines.
that said, i voted barack this morning…
[Reply]
Crys Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
i’m an Independent who has never voted for a Democrat.
[Reply]
Avitable Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 2:35 pm
Don’t forget the other reason you’re a Republican! Heh.
[Reply]
Miss Britt Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 2:42 pm
Well, at least you voted for Clinton. *sigh*
[Reply]
RW Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
I vote for the best person. This is why so far I’ve only voted for the eventual winner once. So as to whatever is wrong with the country – hey – don’t look at me.
The trickster who “got you” – in my mind – suffers from a particularly American group of character flaws: He values quantity without quality, believes that superficiality equals accomplishment, and (especially amongst Republicans) thinks most of his fellow Americans are uneducated dolts. After all, it has been uneducated dolts who have been winning elections for some time now.
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 3:30 pm
@Slyde: I know, actually, that’s why I’m an Independent. I feel like, hello, I already have a thousand labels attached to me, I don’t need another group of people telling me how they think I should act.
@Crys: So, Bilbo Baggins is NOT a Democrat? Oh no wait, you don’t like him, so he IS a democrat… hmmm. Interesting.
@Avitable: Sometimes, when I read your comments, I think I hear my mother. Let it go, dude. I’m a censoring fascist. (That is, apparently, Faiqa’s word of the week). I still adore you, though.
@Miss Britt: And Kerry. And Obama. What are *you* complaining about? I can’t *believe* you just sighed at me. LOL. Just ’cause I voted for the guy that took away our civil rights, got us involved in an unjustified invasion and sanctions the waterboarding of pseudo-soldiers of an imaginary enemy army, all of a sudden I’m a bad person?!
@RW: Except that I don’t think it’s uniquely American. I think that ethos is indicative of people who occupy positions of privilege for far too long even though they don’t deserve it. And that happens everywhere, my friend. Annnd, I have no doubt that you have always voted for the best person.
[Reply]
Sybil Law Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 8:30 pm
I am just happy to see you didn’t vote for Gore the bore. Ewwww.
I’m an independent, but, like you, a registered Republican.
Whatever! Labels don’t define me! I’m a rebel!
[Reply]
Dave2 Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 11:21 pm
Rebel? Sybil’s a maverick!
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
November 4, 2008 @ 11:45 pm
@Sybil: Gore the Bore? I hadn’t heard that one. He’s so much cooler now that he’s a tree hugger.
@Dave2: Oh, *now* you’re just trying to get everyone to do a shot.
[Reply]
Tariq Said,
November 5, 2008 @ 12:23 pm
I can’t handle this much excitement in one week. First Avitable’s party and then an historic election. Given that it can’t get too much worse economically, I am worried about Obama’s economic policies and how corporations may react. We’ll see…
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
November 5, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
@ Tariq: Maybe they’ll react by ceasing to act like bloodsucking leeches draining the majority of society from becoming prosperous and successful. Who *am* I? What, exactly, has happened to me in the past six months? I used to love bloodsucking leeches draiing the masses of prosperity, and now I’m all…socialist.
[Reply]
martymankins Said,
November 9, 2008 @ 2:17 pm
Such a great post. Sorry I’ve not found your blog before (saw your comment on GingerSnaps site)
[Reply]
Faiqa Said,
November 9, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
@martymankins Love GingerSnap!
[Reply]
Karl Said,
November 10, 2008 @ 11:51 pm
I’ve been voting since 1984. This meme would take me YEARS. Ha. Sucks that we’re almost *required* to register as either a Democrat or Republican, just to make sure we’re allowed to vote in primaries. The two-party system blows.
[Reply]