I was going to go all Anderson Cooper meets Wolf Blitzer on you with a detailed point by point analysis of last night’s debate, when by the third paragraph, I realized, who cares about the details of a debate that’s not even a “game changer,” according to one political pundit?

I thought Biden did very well. But, that’s because I’m obviously liberal, and decidedly not a maverick, whose partisanship politics is the root cause of all of our nation’s evils. And he didn’t talk about Dunkin’ Donuts, so that was a plus. Personally, I think Barack sat him down and did that magical up and down hand wave thing he does at speeches when eighty thousand people are cheering for him and said, “Settle down, Joe, settle down.”

The Dallas Star reported that “Sarah Palin turned in a strong performance last night” and attributed that to her “folksy manner.” Hmmm. Last time I checked, I thought we were having a debate over who would make a better Veep, not who would be a better candidate to play Gomer Pyle in the upcoming release of Gomer goes to Washington.

I’m getting the feeling that Palin’s getting props because she avoided a Couricatastrophe. (You betchya, I made that up). I watched the debate, and I just read over the transcripts. She was actually O.K.

But, a strong performance? That’s a little much. That’s like me saying to my husband, “Oh, honey, you’re the best husband in the world because you don’t cheat on me.” The ideal husband should not cheat on his wife, and the ideal Vice Presidential candidate isn’t supposed to be funnier to watch than the SNL skits that mock her.

Actually, the reason that Sarah Palin irritates me has nothing whatsoever to do with Sarah Palin. She seems like a nice enough Washington outsider. I just start seething when I think of the possibility that all of those goshes, youbetchyas and gratuitous soccer mom references are winning people over.

If you’re going to vote for John McCain because you agree with his policies, I can respect that. Especially since Uncle Joe reminded me last night that it’s best not to question the motives of our opponents. But, if you ask me, there is a special place in hell for people who vote for the guy they’d rather have a beer with. They, not the impending economic catastrophe, are the real danger in America.

Because those kind of people don’t care about anybody but themselves and they make the rest of us look as dumb as they are. They would rather have the wrong president who doesn’t make them feel stupid than the right president who reminds them that they are, in fact, stupid.

Vote for John McCain or vote for Barack Obama, but please make sure your vote is for America and what you believe is best for you and your fellow citizens, not just for yourself.

Oh, and by the way, according to FactCheck.org:

Obama did say that troops in Afghanistan were killing civilians, a claim that Palin calls “untrue.” Here’s the whole quote, from a campaign stop in New Hampshire:

Obama, August 2007: We’ve got to get the job done there and that requires us to have enough troops so that we’re not just air-raiding villages and killing civilians, which is causing enormous problems there.

The Associated Press fact-checked this one, and found that in fact U.S troops were killing more civilians at the time than insurgents: “As of Aug. 1, the AP count shows that while militants killed 231 civilians in attacks in 2007, Western forces killed 286. Another 20 were killed in crossfire that can’t be attributed to one party.”

Aww, golly, c’mon, say it ain’t so, gosh darn it.

I really regret not being able to work “maverick” into that last line.